“Friendship … is born at the moment when one person says to another “What! You too? I thought I was the only one”  C.S. Lewis

I got to talking to my daughter about friendship the other night, actually it is a topic that we regularly have discussions about because it is something that baffles her. This word “friendship” and what it really means. Do you ever just stop and think about what friendship means? What makes a true friend? What makes a friend worth of being considered a “friend”?

It’s a choice we make all the time, we decide to call many people our friend. Some people pass through our lives and manage to stay an acquaintance, but others cross over the threshold from acquaintance to friend. Friends are awesome, having a good friend, someone you can laugh with, cry with, be nuts with, and rely on is just really a great feeling!

There is for me many levels of friendship, ranging from someone I love chatting with, to someone I trust enough to bare the depths of my soul to.

My daughter has an awesome best friend, she is a beautiful girl, she is loads of fun, shares similar interests, and is super generous with her love for my daughter. It’s a mutual thing, they share a kindness and a love that is just so beautiful to see. They have been in the same class since they started school.

A & A at Aspen’s ballet party when she turned 6.

Aly_abby1

Aly_abby2

Next year they will go to high school together. They have had little tiffs and small misunderstandings, but they have never gone out of their way to be mean to one another. They have a deep affection, protectiveness and respect for each other that keeps their bond strong. For me it has also been great because I love this girl’s family too, so it makes it easy to let her spend weekends with her best friend and know my daughter is like part of their family.

Aly_abby3

Unfortunately being a 12 year old girl is not always so easy though. Over her years at school there has been some ups and downs with friendships and for the most part Aspen has avoided drama, but she does get very upset when she sees girls being mean to other girls. Last week someone she considers a good friend told her best friend that she hates her. Aspen was devastated for her friend and very confused about why this girl was being so mean. Aspen just told me that she heard from another friend that this same girl has been telling people she doesn’t like Aspen now either. Aspen was so upset, she went to school today with a sore tummy and feeling ill. She is so confused as to why this girl, a girl who is meant to be a really close friend would suddenly say that. To be honest it confuses me too. She came home today though saying how great a day she had with this girl and all is happy again.

It is easy to say “oh they are just kids”, or “that’s girls for you”. It’s easy to shrug it off like it doesn’t matter. I get it, they are just kids with lots to learn. Their bodies are changing, they are confused and young and they are discovering where they fit into the world. I say these things to Aspen, I tell her not to worry. But it is hard to explain why girls are mean to each other, because why are we? Even grown women are mean to each other! Not all thank goodness! I think jealously plays a big part in why women and girls are mean, but still it is so hard to explain to my daughter that people can be mean for seemingly no other reason than, well because they just feel like it. I am also not naive enough to think that Aspen won’t at some point hurt someones feelings too.

Any advice for me here? What do I tell my daughter? I know these are life lessons and she will have to deal with people being mean and that not everyone will like her and that’s OK she will survive that, we can’t please everyone after all. I can not protect her from these hurts and I can not solve all her problems. But what advice can I give her to help guide her through? How do I help her become emotionally strong? I would love any advice!

Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx

2015-01-12_17-32-00

Have you linked up with #mg yet this week? Come by and add your post HERE!

Follow me on Instagram @macglanville 

You may also like “Welcome Home Darling

or Environment affects our mood

Linking up with EssentiallyJess on #IBOT

Cuddle Fairy
ethannevelyn

Mummascribbles
Stay classy