It seems like everyone is an expert on parenting everyones child, but their own. As parents we question every decision, heavily weigh up options, feel immense pressure to not screw them up, panic over the little things, fear the worst and know all too well what parental guilt feels like.
On the flip side we are too quick to judge other parents, ‘we would never do that,’ ‘never allow our child to say, or that, or eat that.‘ Ironically often we judge others even more so before we become parents and then quickly realise we are not the parent we thought we would be!
The other day we were in a bike store, I was purchasing my children each a new scooter. I used to judge when people made choices to buy gifts like that for their children outside of their birthday, or Christmas. I like the idea of children waiting for what they want, and having that built up anticipation. Yet here I was buying them scooters when only April was having a birthday. Of course when we are the parent we have reasons we give ourselves to explain why we are doing what we are doing. Mine was that the scooters they have are getting too worn out, they have had them for years, and given they scoot nearly everyday it seemed easy to justify. Still part of me thinks it was a bit of an extravagant purchase that could have waited.
I of course felt even better when the store manager commented that my children were like children from the 1980’s as they had such wonderful manners and great behaviour whilst in the store. My children asked what he meant by that comment and I explained and my daughter said “well that is because you are a good mummy, we wouldn’t be so nice if you weren’t nice to us.” I couldn’t help but be pretty happy with that. In reality though I think kids get a bad rep these days, I think most us parents are all doing a pretty fab job, even if we do doubt ourselves night and day.
This parenting thing isn’t easy, the decisions I thought would be simple before becoming a mum, suddenly didn’t feel so simple once they were born. I was going to be the mum who always did arts and crafts with her children until I discovered I have little, to no patience for art and craft, and even less talent. There are things I have stayed true to, and things I have done the opposite of. I am not the mum I thought I would be, nor did I have the 6 children I thought I would have. In some ways I am a better mum than I thought I would be, in other ways, well let’s not go there. Overall I can be happy that I am learning along the way and doing what I believe is right for them. Right now I am just going to enjoy this messy, crazy, beautiful, magical journey along side them.
Are you the parent you imagined you would be?
Thanks for stopping by, love Mackenzie