Lately I have been searching for the unknown, looking for something to fill a void that I don’t want to admit exists inside me. I get annoyed with myself for feeling what I feel, which is in itself a problem. It is counterproductive to get annoyed at myself for having feelings, and yet be searching for a feeling of peace.
Whether I want to admit it or not, I have been feeling like there is something that I just can not capture, that feeling of being settled. I am looking for something to make me feel like I am ‘home’ within my own skin, my own mind. Yet I can’t grasp what I feel is missing? This is exactly where I need to take my own advice, where I need to stop trying to search so hard for the answer, or fill that void with frivolous things until I figure out what is really missing for me right now.
Patience.
Life is forever evolving and I am evolving with it, we all are. I wonder do we ever feel truly settled? Or is life about constantly searching and learning about who we are, and what it is we need to be happy?
We cannot remain stagnant too long. Yet sometimes we also need to embrace stillness. Life with all its twists and turns is forever teaching us unexpected lessons, and showing us we are capable of things we never imagined were possible. I am not yet sure what I am searching for, and maybe just when I figure it out, I will seek a new journey.
What are your thoughts?
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
10 comments
Geographically, we’ve been settled for nearly 25 years and will probably be carried out of our house feet first some day. Even so, I know exactly what you are saying about feeling “settled.” Life always seems to be introducing a new phase: babies; kids; BIG kids; grown up kids; grandkids; and . . . ?
I wish I had been one of those people who majored in something (like accounting or nursing) that led to a clear career path and that I loved it and wanted to do it forever. My resume looks like a patchwork quilt. I’m thankful for every piece of it, but it’s not a good road map for the future!
I think your feelings are very human. I over analyse and that can stop me feeling as happy as I could. However, I believe it brings me other positive things, such as being more self aware. Perhaps whilst seeking to fill your void, you happen across more experiences and capture more moments than someone who is always content with their lot. xx
As an EXPAT I can certainly empathy with these feelings but I think you can feel unsettled within your ‘own’ environment too. Follow your heart. Take care lovely 🌸 Thank you for hosting #mg
Settled or unsettled can have wildly different connotations, and accompanying perspectives. Settled can mean dull, stuck in the mud, incapable of new adventure, or it can mean mature, organised, extroverted, content in your less-than-blemish-free skin … all sorts of things good and useful. I think it’s fine to not limit ourselves in this way, to be okay with being “unsettled”, or uncertain. or alive. I think certainty is for bigots and nimcompoops (or however you spell them!) actually . #mg
I’m not sure we do Mac. As you say, there’s always something new that comes along that changes how we feel. As much as want to feel settled, I think sometimes we just have to go with the flow because we can do little about external influences. I think ‘moving on’ is more accurate when you’ve got children who grow up around you and reach their milestones, then you continue to change. Well I know what I mean anyway! Thanks for hosting #mg
I can empathise. Our house is only a borrow as it comes with the job. And the nature of the job means we’ll move on at some point. I try and enjoy the season without thinking too much about what’s next
Unsettled is natural. If we were settled, we’d be stagnant, though I do agree it’s uncomfortable feeling. I find that if I’m not reading a good book, or I miss my morning yoga, I’m totally at sea. Maybe try some mediation, or that ‘thing’ you’ve been thinking of for ages. Be adventures!!!!!
This is the most settled I’ve been in my life in practical terms, but I also feel very unsettled because I thrive on change. I have itchy feet but feel confined by circumstances. It’s not becoming a parent but more a case of feeling stuck. I think we all go through phrases like that…. I’m sure it’s natural, right?
#Mg
I feel this too all the time Mac. I think it comes from knowing there is more out there but not knowing how to grab a hold of it. Not even knowing where it comes from within us can be very frustrating and leaves me feeling restless sometimes. I think this is why I write. Because there is just something inside me that is searching for more. More truth, more possibilities, more transcendence maybe. Thanks for hosting #mg
Life is a journey not a destination. So as we take up our oars rowing our boats to the destinations of what we think we are after they become not what we want as we change. We are no longer who we once were and different waters can challenge us forcing us out of our comfort zones even if we want at first to cling on. Am I speaking sense or mumbo jumbo now? #mg
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