I am a feminist. What about you? I am a feminist and this is why.
In my opinion feminism was never about hating men, yet somehow over the years the word feminism has been twisted and manipulated to a point where calling yourself a feminist opens you up to criticism and even cruel judgement.
The feminist movement was always based on equality, for men and women, it was never about hating all men. Women that fought to have the right to vote, to get jobs, to not be raped, were only demanding and fighting for what should have already existed and many of them were like me, they had men in their lives that they love! The idea that to be a feminist you have to hate men is utterly ridiculous. I have a son and I have loved him from he moment I knew he was growing inside me, I have a father I admire and respect, I have a husband who I am passionately and deeply in love with. I have brothers, and male friends who I love. I in no way want to repress men!
To me being a feminist is about fighting for equality for women and men, for all races, religions, fighting to live in a world where we all have the right to work if we wish, to get an education, to sit where we want on a bus, to not be raped because we have a vagina, to not be crucified because we believe in a different God, to not be denied an education because of our skin colour, to not be told we can’t cry because men shouldn’t display their emotions, to not be told we are weak because we have a mental illness, to not be told we hate men because we are a lesbian, to not be forced to have sex with any man, or woman just because we are dating, or married to them.
Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes
I will raise my two girls to be strong and gentle, to fight and be compassionate, to rise up and support other women, to respect men who deserve their respect, to treat animals with love, to treat humans with dignity, and to love themselves for everything they are, not for who the world tells them they ought to be! And I will raise my son the exact same way, I will raise him to know men are great and women are just as great, I will raise him to respect himself and to make good choices, I will teach him that no means no! I will teach him to see women, men, animals and anyone who looks differently to him as his equal.
I am a feminist, I support womens right to education, to being safe, to jobs and equality in every aspect of their lives, just as I support that for men too. I am not a man hater. We need to stop feeding into these stereotypes of feminist being man hating, hairy, ugly, women who no one wants to sleep with. We need to refuse to listen to the haters who post comments on twitter saying all feminists just need a good hard C*** up them, or a decent F*** to shut them up, but they are too ugly and that’s why no one will F*** them! Yes I know it is shocking, but feminist are attacked everyday by trolls who write this vulgar stuff. This behaviour is not OK.
It is not OK that feminism has become a dirty word. I am a feminist who loves my amazing husband, I have a fabulous little son and I will say this again I am not a man hater. I just want equality. I want to be treated with respect, and I want children of all races, colours and genders to grow up and see the beauty in this world, not the ugliness of inequality.
Can’t we just support one another? Can’t we stop verbally attacking and work together? Can’t we fight for equality without attacking each-other? Maybe I am a dreamer, but I know I am not alone.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
46 comments
I was nodding along to this the whole way through! I have always believed in equality, but for a long time I struggled to use the word feminist because of all of the negative connotations. I’ve since realised that the people who have these negative views of feminism probably feel the same about equality, and now I do consider myself to be a feminist.
Like you said, that doesn’t mean I hate men – it means I believe in equality for everyone regardless of gender. There will always be feminazis, but just like not all men are chauvinist pigs, not all feminists are unreasonable man haters.
Debbie
Another lovely post from you, Mac. You seem like a person with a very big heart, always wanting the best for everyone. (How do you go through life without growing cynical, which I must admit to being, quite a lot of the time?)
I think most women I know would call themselves feminists, but I don’t think any of them hate men. Me, I’ve never called myself a feminist, and although I agree (naturally) with the concept of equality, it’s not something I’ve ever really felt passionately about. Maybe because I never felt opressed or less able or of less worth as a girl, while growing up?
When I was about 17, I had a terrible, longwinded discussion with a young man who was trying to make me understand that I, as a woman, was a victim. And that he, as a man, was a horrible opressor. I think that discussion contributed significantly to me loosing interest in politics.
In regards to what the term feminism means today, I find it a little bit troublesome that some feminist politicians express a sentiment that women are more capable than men, and that there are ‘female’ values which are better than ‘male’ values. I don’t think that kind of rethoric will ever win anyone over who isn’t already a feminist, and I don’t think it goes very well with the idea of equality.
So, there we are… I agree with you and I like your definition of what feminism is/should be. But it is, as you’ve highlighted, a term which carries different meaning to different individuals. xx
I love you for this post. I’m a feminist too and I’ll raise my daughter the same way. I don’t understand why it has to be a bad word. And it angers me when women shy away from calling themselves so.
I’m a feminist too, and believe in everything you have written in your beautiful post.
Throughout the last year or so I have however seen for myself some shocking behaviour from a number of women who call themselves feminists.
Women who have told me that I should ALWAYS believe the side of a women over over that of a man in rape allegations, and if a man is falsely accused then thats just too bad for them, they should still be prosecuted because that would mean more women would come forward.
I’ve seen women belittle and abuse transgender women because “they are just trying to get into womens changing rooms to perv, and they are not or ever will be women”.
Ive been called a brainwashed idiot for coming to the defense of a male friend who was getting death threats from women because he disagreed with them (over the rape thing).
These type of feminists make the life of other women harder because they feed into the misogynist view of feminist being crazy man-haters.
Great post Mac, you know I’m a loud and proud feminist, and even some of friends groan when I say that. But like you, to me it means fighting for equality, to raise women up to be on the same playing field as men, not to knock men down beneath us.
We can get too hung up on what other people think which is why a lot of people shy from labelling themselves feminists but I think what’s important is what it means to you.
Someone said the other day that they don’t call themselves a feminist because they don’t like labels. That’s fair enough, and in the interest of feminism, everyone has a right to choose what they call themselves! It made me think though, that for me, that label is a tangible reminder of what I stand for. It opens up a conversation where I can dispell the myths about feminism far more often than just saying I believe in equality.
Our fight will need people of all walks if life and opinions on feminism to keep having these conversations and realise we’re (mostly) all heading towards the same goal. And the ‘rad fems’ are the minority, although I think they honestly play their part too (doesn’t mean I agree with them). In a world where there are strong movements aiming to suppress women, sometimes you need a strong counter balance, but taste we gain momentum, the need for extremes will diminish.
Over the ages, Feminism has turned into some kind of a curse word. People frown at you or mock you the moment you declare that you are a feminist. As if being feminist is some kind of a crime. Even men can be a feminist. I have no shame in calling myself a feminist and I am trying to raise my son as a feminist as well. I hope I succeed in my mission. Beautiful Post Mac.
I am a feminist too. I agree with everything you so eloquently put.
I am a feminist because I still see inequality & fight against it. The boss who told me mums should stay at home, the men who told me girls don’t like football or girls can’t… Girls can do anything they want to!
I am a feminist because I am raising boys who will respect women and who know it’s ok to show emotion by crying.
I am a feminist because we are still seen as second class citizens in many industries!
Great post hun 💕
You know my thoughts on this already love. I’m disgusted by the turn feminism has taken by certain “feminists”. They aren’t feminists. They might think they are but they’re nothing more than angry, embittered haters who push their own agenda under the guise of feminism. Great post.
Feminism is all about equal rights for everybody – man, woman, trance, asexual, bisexual; black, white, brown; every human being on the planet! And yet, over the years, I think there’s been a shift in how we view feminism – from bashing feminists (like Adiche, who’s been a much loved feminist) who say a woman’s gender reality is different from a trans man’s gender reality; to becoming actively anti-men. All of this goes against what feminism is, and what it aims to achieve! I guess this is a really long way of saying I agree with you! I am a feminist and I have men in my life who I love to bits.
This is a really great inspiring post – although I don’t have a daughter I really agree so much with everything here. #mg
Whenever I hear the word “feminist” I sort of cringe because of all the baggage that comes along with it. I love Sarah Bessey’s definition in the sub-title of Jesus Feminist: The Radical Notion that Women Are People Too.
I couldn’t agree more. The word feminist has somehow been hijacked by those who feel somehow threatened by it to mean something else. It’s about equality. It’s about having the right of equality of opportunity. Feminism wants that for women. I’ve yet to meet one who doesn’t want that everything either. I’m a woman who is married and who has a son. I’m a feminist, loud and proud. #MG
I couldn’t agree with you more! I know in my town in particular I have come across women who really do believe that feminism is a gateway for those who hate men and that is why they call themselves feminists but true feminism is exactly what you have written about here today. It’s not about hating on anyone. It’s about fighting for equality for everyone. It say it like this: just like not all Muslims are terrorists and not all men are rapists, not all feminists are man haters and want all men to die. I’ve seen posts from those extremists as I call them and all I think about that is that they are just too angry to see feminism for what it was meant to be. It shouldn’t be dirty word but I will admit that I have distanced myself from the term because of all of the negative associations attached to it. You’ve inspired me though Mac. To not be ashamed because Feminism is not a dirty word. #mg
I couldn’t agree with you more! I know in my town in particular I have come across women who really do believe that feminism is a gateway for those who hate men and that is why they call themselves feminists but true feminism is exactly what you have written about here today. It’s not about hating on anyone. It’s about fighting for equality for everyone. I say it like this: just like not all Muslims are terrorists and not all men are rapists, not all feminists are man haters and want all men to die. I’ve seen posts from those extremists as I call them and all I think about that is that they are just too angry to see feminism for what it was meant to be. It shouldn’t be dirty word but I will admit that I have distanced myself from the term because of all of the negative associations attached to it. You’ve inspired me though Mac. To not be ashamed because Feminism is not a dirty word. #mg
I completely agree with this. Being a feminist is about sisterhood and helping other women, it’s not about man bashing. #mg
Agree with all of this! It’s really sad that the term go twisted and people are too lazy to get informed. Sure, feminists had to get tough in the past, but weren’t women denied basic rights we nowadays consider normal?
Few things we women were NOT allow to do until the other day (in Western countries):
– freely attend university lectures (abt 1920)
– get a university degree (abt 1920)
– be allowed to deny sex to our husband (marital rape illegal in US from 1993)
– own a credit card (allowed in US in 1974)
– have a say in getting pregnant or not (birth control methods made legal in 1965 in US)
#LGRTStumble
This is a great post and I agree! Interestingly, I was having this conversation with my 17 year old daughter who was saying that she didn’t think she was a feminist. She was imagining a feminist as someone who burnt their bra from the 60’s! She also thought, because she already had a voice and her freedom to do what she wanted, she didn’t need to be ‘a feminist’. When I explained that she had that freedom because of the feminist movement and that having a choice was not a given right, I think she changed her mind! Sometimes, we forget how far we have come as women but we need to be reminded that our right to a voice and choice is as it’s still a battle for many that needs to spoken about. Lovely post. Xx #mg
I absolutely agree with you Mac, but then you knew I would!
If anyone asks me if I am a Feminist my response would be Hell Yes! Feminism has a lot of negative and man-hating connotations, but to me there is too much at stake and too much that needs to change for me to stand on the sidelines and not join the Feminist cause.
In advance of International Women’s Day on Thursday, I have been thinking about what I can do to advance women’s plight. It is tough, but in a previous blog post of yours I think you made the point that a million small things can make a difference. I am working on what my small three things are going to be this year will be – I will be writing about it soon.
Thanks again Mac – great post as always.
Pen x
Nodding along here as well. To me feminism is about supporting and respecting others in their choices. Building them up rather than tearing them down
Back again for #ablogginggoodtime
You are not alone to dream this, Mac. I loved reading this post. Feminism is not about hating men. But for some reason, it is understood that way. I have two boys and I tell my elder one (the second one at 17months is too little to understand) to treat everyone with respect and equality. Most importantly we have to lead by example. Did I say that l loved this post?
Dearest Mac, this one is another of your gems. It’s a shame how being a feminist is twisted and blown out of proportion. I love your unabashed approach to the entire concept which is a progresses beyond the traditional bra burning women, but one who demands equality and respect.
I’m so proud to know you Mac.
Big Hugs xoxo
When i step out for a date and insist on paying my half, almost all the men have called me a Feminist!!! Not in a good way – they confuse it with femi-nazi and think its a woman’s way of pulling a man down. Each time I have explained to them its nothing like that – I am an independant mnded woman who is aware of and believes in exercising her rights. And yes femisnim is all about gender equality and not disparity as many would have us believe.
Great post MG!!!
Great post!!!! Totally agree that it’s all about equality. One of the feminist’s I’ve found most inspiring was my year 11 English literature teacher. He showed that being a feminist wasn’t about hating men, just wanting what was right and fair for all humans.
“feminism was never about hating men” – YES … THIS!!
Awesomely inspiring post – thank you !!
My daughter is 22 and I raised her to believe that she can do anything she wants as long as she willing to work hard for what she wants. I also told her that she needs to stand up and be counted when the time came and go for her dreams.
I completely agree with you MG. In fact growing up in the height of the feminist movement , I was upset by the simple courtesies that women had to give up merely because they chose to burn their bras . Instead of striving for equality, they went for demystification of women which didn’t serve the cause of women empowerment at all.
I think finally the word feminism is becoming clear – it’s been frustrating for me as a woman of nearly 50 not to have a word I can use. Now it is reclaimed and we can be proud. The men and women in my family are feminists and finally I can say it without justifying what I mean! x
Loved coming back via #ablogginggoodtime to see more even more posts added and more comments. International Womens’ Day has really got people talking and sharing their stories. We even launched a womens network in my organisation today.
I agree that feminism is primarily about equality and not about ‘man hating’. If you believe that men and women should be equal, then congratulations! You’re a feminist. #ablogginggoodtime
100% agree with this post. I do not subscribe to the idea that being a feminist means I am anti-men! It’s frustrating when idiots with no brain in their heads make this assumption. Everyone should be free and equal.
Those that say females are haters of men have completely missed the point. Perhaps they have not even properly listened. I am all for the equality of people regardless of gender, race etc. #mg
Yes! Love this…I am a feminist too. It’s such a shame that it has become a ‘tainted’ word. Only through education and posts like this can we bring back the true meaning of being a feminist #ablogginggoodtime
Hi Mac I have had this post bookmarked to read for a while and it didn’t disappoint. Thought provoking as always. I can remember the days when to mention the words “I am a feminist” would provoke a collective groan in the room as there was a time when it was all about male bashing and for many of us that has just never been what it is all about. My daughter regards herself as a feminist but she is passionate about more than simply the equality of men and women. Our daughters and our sons are growing up with an anticipation of more change and a belief in a right to equality for all.
We have come along way but it is apparent there is still room for more progress and I think it will be interesting to watch the changes as society evolves. X
You damned well are, woman! #LGRTstumble xo
Let’s take it back from the negative nellies and put FEMINISM on the map, the way it should be.
Wonderful post, Mac! #mg
Back again from #ablogginggoodtime (I know, catching up!) xoxo Love you, Mac!
Think I might be the first guy to comment on this but, I really enjoyed your post! As you say, the core of feminism has always been about equality, regardless of how it has been branded over time. It’s easy for the group on top to dismiss a demand for equality as an attack on them. But while women clearly stand to benefit from the feminist cause, so do men! Whole families are better off when men take on a fair share of life at home, and equality in the work place can only be good for companies and the economy. I hope more people of both sexes can start calling themselves feminists more often.
i am in total agreement with you on this lovely! I am a feminist too.
yay!
I agree with all the valid point raised. I believe feminism is so relevant even in today’s world X #stayclassymama
I’m old and I can’t believe this whole ‘I’m not a feminist’ thing has started up. Ansari stated it simply saying ‘It’s like going to a J-Z and Beyonce concert and not thinking Beyonce should be paid 30% less.’ It’s not about hating J-Z. I would also say, not a fan of the brands of Feminism that focus on excluding women. I also think you don’t get to say ‘I’m fighting for equality but not for you, you aren’t equal to us’. And yet, our female politicians (in Oz) still seem to have what they wear commented on more than the political views they are speaking about…how have we come to this?? #Stayclassymama
I would count myself as a feminist. I studies Women’s Studies at university but the course was scrapped after I finished as it was deemed sexist. Feminists do not hate men or want to disempower them: they want equality for all, power for everyone. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama
Exactly!
Oh I have started right this piece so many times…only i get cowardly and scared about sounding like I DO hate men. I worry about rubbing people up the wrong way…I get defensive about my feminism. This is everything I would have liked to have said. Thank you
Congratulations , someone loved this post so much they added it to our #blogcrush linky
Loving this feminism post, all over again! #blogcrush xoxo
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