Today I am calling bullshit on what girls are taught. I came across a list the other day detailing things that girls want to hear from their fathers, to be honest I found it utterly ridiculous. Why? Well to start with the number one thing on this list was “That she is beautiful,” not a beautiful person inside, just beautiful! OK so I admit when I was a little girl I wanted my dad to think I was pretty, because quite frankly I had a very low self esteem and somehow I falsely believed being ‘pretty‘ in this world was more important than being strong, smart, and having my own voice and opinions.
Maybe I am overreacting? No I am not, I mean really isn’t that crazy, (or completely shit), that the top thing is about beauty? Well I think so! To make me more mad, down the line was “you will make a good wife”!!!!!!???????? Yes I know that technically that punctuation is not correct, but what the . . . .? Really, why would that even make a top 12 list? Hello is there not so many more important things a father should tell his daughter than that she will make a ‘good’ wife? What even makes a ‘good wife’? Hmm let me guess . . Being Beautiful? I hope my husband appreciates me as a wife for more than my genetically blessed good looks! In fact I know he does. I would not be surprised if by being a ‘good wife‘ it also means bringing said future husband his slippers and pipe as he walks through the door whilst wifey walks around in a tight dress and high heels?
Also on the list was she will make a ‘good mother”! I kid you not. Who said she will even want to be a mother, or a wife, can our daughters not have other ambitions? Now in the articles defence there was some decent things on the list like being smart and strong, although do not forget these rank below being beautiful. The article was also written a few years ago, but I feel like it was written 100 years ago.
Of course I want my dad to say nice things to me, and my children’s father to say nice things to them, but there are so many more important things to say to our daughters. On my wedding day my father walked in to my parents bedroom where I had gotten dressed into my gown and his eyes welled up with tears. He told me how beautiful I looked through a shaky voice, and it is a precious memory that I treasure, but it doesn’t mean as much as when he sat with me through the hardest days of my life, or when he let me be there for him through his darkest days.
My daughters are beautiful, but they are so much more! All girls are beautiful and all girls are so much more. Don’t we need to stop focusing on girls looks so much? I shouldn’t be surprised that lists like that are still written, that girls and women are still made to feel like unless you are ‘beautiful’ (to whoever make these beauty standards), unless you are married and being a good wife and a good mummy, then you are pretty much wasting the air we breathe. Well I call bullshit on that! We all matter, we are all equal even if society needs to catch up on that fact! We as women need to look at lists like this and say ‘no more‘! We have a voice let’s use it!
Let’s teach our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, friends, students that they have a brain, they have a voice, let’s teach them that they are capable of the most amazing things and that they should fight for the right to be respected for whatever life choices they make. Dad’s if you are reading this please teach your daughters that they are equals, ask them what they want for themselves, what matters to them, and encourage them to shoot for the stars. Tell them to let their voices be heard.
What are your thoughts on this? Please leave me your thoughts below.
Thank you for joining me, love Mackenzie