The other day I was feeling grumpy, I was not feeling well and had received some news that had upset me, I was feeling impatient and low. I was waiting for Adam to get a bowl out and he was taking forever chatting away about I don’t know what as 7 year olds do. I repeated to him “will you just get the bowl out”, he did and he put the bowl on the kitchen counter. He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and then asked “mummy why did you need to yell at me to get the bowl?” I suddenly realised he was right I had raised my voice and not because he was taking his time, but because I was having a bad day and feeling impatient. I answered “oh I didn’t mean to, sorry, mummy is just not feeling well and I am a bit grumpy.” I am not sure how much sense that made to him, but he accepted that and moved on in his own little world. The thing is when we are grumpy we act in ways that we normally wouldn’t, and ways we are not proud of.
I was holding onto upset and what I needed to do was talk about my feelings with someone I trusted to listen, and to be supportive. Holding my feelings in was not only affecting me, but also affecting those around me.
Some moments are a wake up call. There is no denying we have the right to have bad moments in life, to feel down, to be angry, to grieve, and to have moments as a parent that are utterly exhausting, but we need to recognise when it is all getting a bit much! We need to say
“hang on a minute, I need help”
We often want to do things on our own, to be invincible! We want to be the super hero parent that we foolishly believe every other parent is. But guess what, we all struggle, that’s right, mums, dads, friends, the Queen, the woman at work who always looks immaculate, they all have moments where they need help. We somehow feel we are the only one’s loosing our mind, yelling at our child, longing for our newborn to sleep, or our Toddler to stop throwing a tantrum, getting mad because our puppy peed is the house, or frustrated that our partner doesn’t seem to be listening! You are not alone, we all experience this stuff! It is OK to admit you are having a bad day, or month, it is OK to admit that you need help!
Admitting we need help does not mean we are a failure, it means we are a success!!!
What???????
When we are comfortable enough in our own skin, when we are OK with saying “I am not perfect” then we are accepting ourselves, and loving ourselves. We are showing the world that we are comfortable with who we are, that we are strong enough to ask for help. When we admit that we could use some support we are saying that we are OK with making mistakes, we are OK with opening up, and we trust our friends, or family members with our truth.
Somewhere along the line we were confused into believing handling everything on our own was a strength, it made us look successful, powerful, and perfect. But being honest, accepting help when we need it is actually a strength, hiding our truth is the weakness. Letting people we trust into our truth is a gift, it is telling them we trust them and love them.
Next time you are feeling overwhelmed or sad make sure you let people in, it is truly OK to say you need support! No one expects more of you than you expect of yourself, stop being so tough on YOU!
It is always OK to be yourself, be authentic, never pretend to be something you are not, and never feel guilty for that, never apologise for being you! Celebrate it!
Mackenzie Glanville
What do you do when you have a bad day?
Do you have any self care tips you can share?
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
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45 comments
I have many such days. I know I’m not perfect, very far from it actually. I have very less patience. Being a parent is tough. Actually, life is tough and we need to take as much help as we can. We need to be brave and vulnerable enough to say that we can’t do it, we need help. Like you said, that is more important. As for me, I tend to go on a complaining hyperbole and yell when I’m not in a good mood. Not proud of it at all but that’s what I tend to do.
Yes some days we really need a moment to gather ourselves, but we struggle to find it as mothers, thanks for joining in with #mg and for commenting x
I have learned the hard way that it is quite okay to ask for help. And who better than children to teach us, eh, Mac? It is okay to feel upset and okay to bawl our eyes out and fling a thing or two. 🙂 Better to let it out than allow it to simmer inside.
Hugs. What a cute post! ❤️ I love that your son asked you why you had to yell!
I know he is a clever little boy and a deep thinker, keeps me on my toes xx
Such an awesome post! We really do need to just say when we need help, no one can do everything themselves. #EatSleepBlogRT
I agree, thanks for taking the time to pop by and comment
Its always totally ok to admit you need help in fact that’s got to be better than struggling on. Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays
It really is, but sometimes we forget. Thanks so much for your comment xx
I still struggle to ask for help but I’m hoping in due time I will be okay to do so. I think somehow, I’ve always viewed it as me being weak — you know, not being able to manage it all? But I totally get how brave it is to put yourself out there and ask for help
yes it is hard when we have been convinced that it is a weakness, but when you also suffer from anxiety or depression asking for help can change your life. I know with my father who is British that asking for help, or admitting something was wrong was almost impossible. When he got depression I had to push him forcefully to get help. We need to break the stigma that holding things in and coping alone is a sign of strength.
I struggle to ask for help too, despite feeling poorly most days and having four children to juggle, I would rather struggle than admit that I needed the help. It’s probably my biggest downfall, and something I really need to work on! #mg
I understand that some people just moan all the time and we get tired of it, but still we need to strike the right balance. When we are really run down, tired or sick we need to ask for help. Especially with anxiety as if we don’t we end up a lot sicker and un able to help anyone xx
It’s so hard sometimes to admit that our responses to our little ones are often more down to how we are feeling than their behaviour. I am so guilty of this and I know I often get ratty and irritable with them and act like they are purposely trying to annoy me, when actually they aren’t doing anything particularly wrong. It’s just me, and more about how I’m feeling. I agree that it definitely helps to be honest and accept ourselves for this. We’re all human, and we sometimes need to be better at recognising our own issues and loving ourselves even more for having them. Thanks for hosting #mg x
I pick up the phone and call up my sister or go to a friend. Venting my troubles always works. You’re right of course – asking for help is good. That’s ever more true in these days of nuclear families.
It is so important to seek and ask for help when you need it. We need to accept that sometimes we will need to lean and depend on others, it doesn’t make us weak or bad people, it makes us human. #MarvMondays
Definitely agree with this. The moment I snap at my little one, I know it’s time to admit I’m struggling and need help – either I’m tired, or don’t feel well, or just want 5 minutes peace after being on the go all day. My husband is largely very supportive, but occasionally just needs a little reminder now and again that I’m not superwoman and I can’t do it all, as much as I might pretend I can #MarvMondays
I can relate to this. I get snappy when I am grumpy. I try my best to keep to myself when i’m feeling like that, but it’s not always easy! #EatSleepBlogRT
I’ve just had my third baby and it’s only now that I am finally learning that it’s ok to ask for help. I’ve always been too stubborn before! #MarvMondays
lovely and inspiring post Mackenzie! This is my first tri to your linky- thanks for hosting!
It’s hard sometimes to put yourself first and ask for help. I struggle with this for sure. My kids (luckily) understand when Mom is upset and grumpy – often times I get “hangry” so the kids have learned to ask if I’m hungry. Asking for help is not a weakness.
#MG
I’m exactly the same. Short tempered and irritable when I’m tired or stressed or have something on my mind. I agree with you that it takes strength to know when to ask for help. Everyone needs a little help once in a while and there’s definately no shame in it.
Thanks for hosting #MG
It is definitely okay to be honest and open when you’re struggling and feeling overwhelmed. Hope you’re feeling better now. I find a 3 minute breathing space really helps me when I’m feeling stressed. #eatsleepblogRT x P.S now I’ve worked out how to join your linky I will do so thanks for hosting x
Returning for #mg – thanks for having me x
Lovely I can so relate to this – I have been so poorly and I’m heavily pregnant and I know I have been losing patience with my lovely girls really easy. I just struggle to ask for help – even from my husband!!! I want to do it all myself which is just silly sometimes, there is nothing wrong with needing help! Great post #mg
You’re so right – it’s tough asking for help but it’s a sign of strength when you can. I can do it with very few people but I try to encourage myself to lean on those around me more. I definitely suffer from British ‘stiff upper lift’ syndrome! #MarvMondays
I had a moment the other day where my Mum could see I was struggling! I too was poorly. Exhausted from looking after my poorly three year old who hadn’t slept through for three weeks due to a persistent cough and on top of that he was being a nightmare in the day – probably in hindsight because he too was poorly and tired! It all got too much and I just burst into tears. It was what I needed. I got it out of my system and I felt so much better. Being poorly is hard anyway but so much harder when you’re a parent and life goes on! There’s no chance to recharge the batteries or have an afternoon on the sofa.
This is a great post and has made me feel much better about what happened. #marvmondays
I feel like I lose my s*** daily! Then of course I feel awful awterwards and what makes it so much worse is when my toddler then walks into the room again crying saying ‘hi mum’ in the saddest voice ever!!! #MarvMondays
Another truly brilliant post. I always feel like you are speaking directly to me. I’ve just snapped at my boys tonight and now I feel bad but I will apologise tomorrow. I’ve just been feeling so awful and I can’t wait for my friend to come for coffee tomorrow and have a good offload. We all need that listening ear at times. Thank you for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT
We have been taught to be independant and that we should be Wonder Woman coping with everything life throws at us. But you know what? Wonder Woman doesn’t exist and we need to be able to express ourselves even when it isn’t in a positive light. We need to cut ourselves some slack. I hope you are okay Mackenzie and thank you for sharing your thoughts. Thank you also for the link up and have a fabulous day. I”m sending you a hug. xx
I agree – it takes a strong person to ask for help. When I’m having a bad day, I have to get outside and go for a walk. Regardless of my grumpiness factor, I can normally pound it out as I walk round!! Hope your week got better! Thanks for sharing #marvmondays
If I’m having a real bad day I’ll tell the boys I need alone time and either go read a book or relax in the tub and just take time to be in total peace and quiet.
You are so right, asking for help isn’t a weekness, it is a strength. And also we all need to stop and look outside of our bubble too. Just because someone is grumpy, it could be that something is not going right for them. Every day I try to just give a little compliment to someone, it really makes a difference to you and them. MarvMondays
Such a great post! We definitely all feel like this – and so often I find myself losing my temper with the kids or the other half for reasons that are just because I’m having a bad day. I have learnt, since having kids, that apologising and explaining works better than anything else – and of course a hug so they know Mummy doesn’t really mean it!! #marvmondays
A thought-provoking post and a timely reminder in the busy run up to Christmas. We can’t do everything on our own. It’s important we have people we can call upon to help. #marvmondays
All so true. I am a great one for speaking out. It’s the only way to stay sane. I have my trusty sounding boards and in turn, they know that they can sound off to me about anything and everything. I think that it’s also important for our children to know that we are grumpy sometimes, tired or upset. They really do need to be aware that we have shit days too and hopefully this will develop their empathy for others. Alison x #mg
All so true. I am a great one for speaking out. It’s the only way to stay sane. I have my trusty sounding boards and in turn, they know that they can sound off to me about anything and everything. I think that it’s also important for our children to know that we are grumpy sometimes, tired or upset. They really do need to be aware that we have shit days too and hopefully this will develop their empathy for others. Alison x #mg
Earlier, I used to nag my hubby when my mood is off the track but now, I try to keep silent so that not to harm anyone and create further guilt.
But lets see how long this will go. Sometimes, I call my Mother and she get to know that something is not well. I like this and vomit out everything to her.
Power to you MG.
I love this post. When I’m upset I either go to my bedroom and calm my self down or I talk to a friend who I know that will listen. #MarvMondays
We forget that we were never meant to parent in insolation. It takes a village to support the raising of a child. #marvmondays
Hey Mac, I always tell my kids that only the strongest of people ask for help. When I worked at Starbucks one million years ago, they teach you that asking for help is a skill — it is encouraged. If only I knew that as a youngster… Great post and I so agree with every word. M’wah! #mg
I read this but can’t remember if I commented as I fell asleep! If it’s not fallen into spam then I agree we should ask for help but it is sometimes hard to make the first move or be vulnerable. I guess we should look for opportunities to help those who are struggling too, so they don’t need to ask. #MarvMondays
This struck a real chord with me today as I started my day with yelling at my eldest and throwing a cushion at his head. I have no excuse other than Storm Angus had kept me awake most of the night so I was already exhausted and he had spent so long in the shower I was going to be late. After he had laughed, which initially made me more cross I then apologised but sometimes it is so hard to hold it all together. We are only human. Normally if I can feel things getting on top of me I will take myself off somewhere on my own to listen to the radio and do some deep breathing. Onwards and upwards. #mg
Very true and I a glad you mentioned it mg! We often think what we do is right and yet when at times when out of control of our own emotions we end up doing real blunders. I remember shouting at my elder one for some reason, he stopped what he was doing, looked at me puzzled. only then I knew I was venting out some thing else her. #mg
Beautiful post as always. I readily admit I’m not perfect and will say if I am having a bad day, but I still struggle to ask for help or talk about what’s bothering me. My hubby is great at understanding that sometimes I just need to be left alone to sort through my own feelings and will take over the cooking and looking after the kids etc. Sometimes I find I just need to have a bit of a cry and then I feel better, other times it makes it worse. It’s something I’m working on though x
#Mg
Glad to see it’s not just me that feels and acts like this sometimes. I end up talking to my hubby and hoping he understands. Distancing myself sometimes helps but when I try to do this its not long before the eldest appears by my side. #mg
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