Happiness is something unique to each of us, what we believe will make us happy, and what will actually make us happy is an individual experience.
Happiness eludes so many of us, and we ask ourselves why? We wonder why do others seem happier than us, and what is their secret? Mistakenly we often believe it is the holidays they take, the big expensive car they drive, or that handbag we covert. We hear people tell us that materialistic possessions won’t make us happy, yet we see Facebook images of happy people in exotic destinations, or out for a fancy dinner. We also know that buzz we get when we come home with shopping bags full of new clothes or homewares. I am guilty of that, I love shopping and I do get excited over new shoes, or a cute new outfit I brought one of my children. But I can also acknowledge the buzz has disappeared when I see the credit card bill at the end of the month.
Of course we look happy on holidays, well at least most of the time, because we are escaping reality for a brief period and experiencing new things. But more importantly we should look happy because we are spending quality time with people we love, or quality time nurturing our minds and bodies with a well earned rest. But when we go back to our life after the holiday is over, or after the shopping buzz is over then we still need to be happy.
So just what is the secret to happiness? And not Social Media happiness, but deep down happiness?
Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.
I have to say that I see so much truth in this quote! It is no secret that 2 years ago I wasn’t truly happy, not deep down happy. I was happy enough, or at least I was telling myself that. And the thing is I had plenty of ‘stuff’ to make me happy. A nice car, a gorgeous large home, jewellery etc. I wasn’t ‘rich’, but we were comfortable and had plenty of materialistic items we really didn’t need. And that is why I agree with this quote, because I know that having these ‘things’ did not make me happy. Yes they gave me shelter and kept me warm and I was truly blessed to have those ‘things’, and I didn’t take them for granted, I truly appreciated what I had. But what I didn’t appreciate was myself. I took myself for granted, I felt undeserving of all those ‘good things’.
Because I didn’t love myself I really couldn’t be truly happy.
It sounds cliche I know, but it is the truth. In fact it was very much my truth. It is not as easy as reading this and saying, ‘oh yes great now I know the secret to happiness is loving myself and believing I am worthy‘, and therefore you suddenly love who you are. I wish that it was. But if you are sitting there thinking that you would never be able to love yourself then let me tell you that you are wrong. No matter what it takes you need to start that journey and find a way to love who you are. And if you are thinking that loving yourself is selfish then you couldn’t be more wrong, loving yourself is truly the greatest gift you can give the people you love, and the greatest gift you can give this world! (Read this “Is it selfish to say yes to me?”)
Happiness and self love is a journey, in fact it can be a battle, but trust me it will be the best thing you can ever do, because when you love yourself you shine your light on everything and everyone and you make the world a much more beautiful place to live in.
So today do something about it, learn to be kinder to yourself, do something that makes you happy, tell yourself you are worthy. Take the first step to loving who you are. And please if this is something you are really struggling with don’t be afraid to seek help, talk to friends and family about how you feel, or seek professional advice. We all deserve to truly find happiness.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
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I will leave you with a quote I wrote that you can also find in my article on “Creating Yourself”
“Following your dreams, your passions is like fighting against life, it is easier to say that there is no time, there are too many things that need to be done today, fight this, fight this hard, because a life without dreams or passions can not be a life of fulfilment, fight for your inner self, fight for the freedom to be heard, fight to be you”
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