I attended a talk last year, is was a talk about raising girls by the amazing Steve Biddulph . At one point during the talk he asked all the women in the room to do something. He asked us to raise our hand if we were unhappy with any part of our body, or appearance. In a large room, only 2 women did not raise their hand. He responded with a question.

“How do you expect to raise girls to be confident in their own skin, if you are not comfortable in yours?”


I recently shared a post on the blog about our insecurities as parents, and our Mummy Guilt, it is something I think the majority of us mums feel, and it is certainly not limited to us mums, there are a lot of dads that feel it too! The same as body bashing, men are doing it too!

We are all putting ourselves down way too much, feeling insecure in our bodies, our parenting, and our careers.  So why do we do it? When …….

“insecurity is such a waste of time”

I love this quote by Diane Von Furstenburg, because it is so true, it is a waste of time! What do we really accomplish by sitting around body bashing, or feeling like we are not good enough parents, or successful enough in our careers?

So let me own up to the fact that I put up my hand in that session. I did, because I am not immune to insecurity.

I am not going to pretend that I don’t have insecurities, but what I can say is that I no longer recognise the girl I used to be, that girl that never felt smart enough, or slim enough! I wish I could go back and tell her that I love her, and that she is worthy of love and happiness. That all those insecurities were a waste of time. Because all along she was good enough, I’m fact she was amazing, she just didn’t see it.

Sure I would like to loose some weight, but actually that is more in regards to feeling healthier, than being slimmer, I actually love curves. I would like to have thicker eyebrows, and reduce the puffiness under my eyes. But the truth is being insecure is a complete waste of time! I am not going to let my curves, or puffy eyes hold me back from being happy. They are not going to stop me wearing a bikini, they are not going to stop me sharing a selfie on Instagram! Yes my body isn’t as fit as I would like, but I love it! My body is amazing, it allows me to hug my kids, it allows me to go places, and explore the world, it allows me to write this blog, to play with my kids, and our pets, my body is more than its physical appearance!

Click to tweet: Insecurity is a waste of time! 

Sometimes we just need reminding that we are beautiful inside and out.

“You with the sad eyes
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
Its hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow”
Cyndi Lauper
Insecurity is in many ways what we are programmed to feel. In a world that dictates how we should look and behave, we feel moulded into being a particular way in order to feel like we ‘fit in’. To be accepted by society the are certain traits we feel like we have to possess. And if we feel like we don’t, then insecurity rises within us.
I am am sure you can relate to waking into a room of people you are just meeting, and wondering some of these
  • will I come across too shy?
  • will I come across as too forward?
  • am I too loud? too quiet?
  • will I seem like I don’t know what I am talking about?
  • will they think I look ridiculous in this outfit?
  • will I come across as a snob?
  • too sexy? too conservative?
  • not funny enough?
  • does my outfit look too cheap?
  • will I seem too opinionated?
  • too masculine for a woman?
  • too feminine and won’t be taken seriously?

Deep down, the majority of us just want to feel accepted. Whether it is by our friends, co-workers, lovers, parents, strangers, God, in-laws, our boss, or other school parents. But in trying to hold ourselves to fit in, or to be accepted, we sometimes loose sight of the person we need to be accepted by, and that is YOURSELF!

For me gaining body confidence, came with working on how I felt about myself internally. For most of my life I wasn’t happy with how I looked, my relationship with my body was unhealthy, and even abusive at times. But it wasn’t just my body I was unhappy with. I was deeply unhappy with who I was. I felt like I was never smart enough, funny enough, or witty enough. At times I felt completely worthless. But trust me, if you feel that way at all, you can change it! You can turn yourself around and learn to love yourself!

I am not going to say that now I finally love myself, that all my insecurities are gone. But I can say with all honesty that I have never been more confident in my own skin as I am now. I am not saying I am perfect, that everything I do, or say is right. What I am saying is that I am happy with being imperfect. I don’t need to please everyone, or have everyone like me. I know I am a good person, I have  good heart, and good intentions, and for me that is enough. Yes I make mistakes, I will continue to do so, but I will learn from them, and I will love myself through those mistakes.

You don’t have to be perfect, what you have to do is learn to love your imperfections, embrace them, tell yourself it is OK that you make mistakes, that you will be a better person for them.

  • Tell yourself everyday you are worthy of love.
  • Tell yourself that you are perfectly imperfect!
  • Tell yourself you are worthy of joy and happiness.
  • Speak to yourself with kind words.
  • Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
  • Tell yourself that putting yourself down is NOT OK!
  • Never again let insecurities stop you being you!
  • Tell yourself insecurity is a waste of time!
  • Always be yourself and people will know that they can be themselves around you too.
  • Live a life that you want to live, and live it fearlessly authentic!

Imagine a world where you can walk into a room, completely comfortable with who you are!

Imagine not letting insecurities ever stop you again!

Now live that way! 

Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

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