When I was 20 the idea of being 30 scared me. There was so much I had to achieve before the dreaded age of 30. Meeting the man of my dreams was one of those goals. It wasn’t that I was desperate to be loved, it was more that I felt like I would be a failure if I wasn’t married with a house and some kids by 30. Admittedly back then I thought 30 was pretty old.
As a 20 year old you think you know so much, you have this idea of what life will be at every major milestone age of your life. You imagine your career, your husband and children, it’s all there in front of you. Isn’t it?
Life has a way of just happening. Unexpectedly things kind of ‘pop up’ and suddenly your course changes. These things can create mayhem or unexpected joy. I guess a lot of the way you take change depends on your attitude towards it. Change is always difficult when you try and fight it, but if you embrace it and go with its flow it can lead you to wonderful new experiences.
I think that it can be those steadfast goals we are unable to see past that can make change such a painful experience for us. When you imagine your life can only be happy if A leads to C, then when B happens in a different way than you think it should, you think you will never get to C. When you imagine your future mapped out in an exact way then you are bound to be disappointed if it doesn’t turn out that way. The thing is, there are many ways for B to unfold. You can still reach your goal, you can still get to C, it just may be a different route than you considered.
When I was in a serious relationship at 23 I thought he was the man I would marry, only plans changed and I realised this wasn’t the relationship I wanted for the rest of my life. I will admit that I was devastated, despite knowing it was the right thing for both of us and still being great friends. The hardest part was the unknown, what was going to happen and would I meet someone new? I had been in this relationship for years so it was a big adjustment leaving him.
I think a lot of the time when we grieve a loss, we are not just grieving what was, but more what could have been. We have lost a certain future and replaced it with an uncertain one. But I decided I wasn’t going to stop living, I decided to embrace change and set myself new goals and head out on new adventures. What I didn’t know was that I would meet the love of my life 3 months later.
At 30 I looked at life differently, suddenly 30 didn’t seem so old any more, I mean at least it wasn’t 40 right? But looking back on my twenties I realised that so much had happened, yet I was in such a hurry to get married and make babies that I don’t think I really spent enough time just enjoying ‘the moments’.
Now I at 38 I am able to enjoy moments more. I don’t feel I am in such a hurry to wish my life away, and 40 doesn’t feel old any more.
40 actually seems wonderful!
At 10, the age of 20 seemed so old and wise. At 20, the age of 30 seemed so old and scary. And at 30, 40 seemed over the hill. But suddenly it all seems so silly. Worrying about age, setting goals based on how old I am, or saying I have to have done X, Y and Z by whatever age just seems ridiculous.
I am not scared to get older. I am actually excited. Another year older means another year lived. Another year lived means more awesome experiences, new lessons learned and a life lived to the fullest. 40 no longer scares me, but neither does 50, 60, 70 or even 80. And let’s face it if I make 90 I will be throwing myself a party! I look at my brother who is heading towards 50 and he doesn’t seem any older than me. I look at mother who is 67 and she is still strong and beautiful and looking for adventure. My dad who is almost 68 played at the Australian Open Tennis this year against a 16 year old club champion to prove that age has no bearing on your ability. My in laws are equally amazing in their 70’s.
My opinion of ageing has changed over the years, as has my opinion on life. I no longer set goals that I need to achieve in order to feel accomplished. I now look at everyday as a new day and a new opportunity to embrace life and live each day noticing and appreciating the little things.
This weeks Friday Reflections prompts offered up the opportunity to go back and write about a prompt that I previously haven’t written about. I decided to embrace this opportunity and chose the prompt from May 8, “what does growing older mean to me”? Growing older means “living”, the older I get, the more I have lived. I love learning and growing, and getting older means more opportunities to do both of these.
I have touched upon in my previous post Impossible to Forget and also in Fields of Joy, about the loss of my beautiful friend in her early 30’s. Losing someone you love so tragically and so young makes you embrace life in a different way. I think of all the things she misses out on every day, and I am so grateful to be here living, loving and laughing. There are days that are horrible, days I don’t feel like getting out of bed and embracing the day, in fact I want to punch some days in the face lol, but then I hear a bird singing, or the kettle boiling. My children run in and hug me, or interrupt my peaceful shower time, I see their faces, sometimes grumpy and sleepy, but most of the time smiling up at me, and I am so grateful for every moment.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
Want to Link Up with us this week? Here are the prompts. Find one that inspires you and start writing. Most of all have fun.
1. Would you ever consider plastic surgery?
2.What advice would you share with a room full of young women?
3. Image prompt. Reflect on this quote.
4. Bonus Prompt: Look back over the previous weeks prompts and choose to write about one you haven’t written about yet.
Last weeks featured writer is Tara with her post about her piano tuner and about music and what has been lost in the modern world. It truly is a magnificent read. If you haven’t already read it, I urge you to take the time. The Piano Tuner.
I would also like to take this opportunity give an honourable mention to Cathy Title and her strong post Don’t Bury Me Yet! Cathy writes about being diagnosed with Cancer. He strength and positive attitude inspired us all this week, and we all wish her great health and happiness. You continue to inspire us every week Cathy xx
Linking up with Friday Reflections is a great way to find fresh inspiration for your writing and blogging. It provides you with endless ideas to write about! You have the support of other bloggers visiting your site, offering advice and support. It is a great way to connect with other passionate writers and make new and wonderful friendships! Linking up with us will also increase your site traffic and adds many more comments on your post and opportunities for your work to be shared on social media.
On top of all that Mackenzie and Janine will be putting their heads together each week and choosing their favourite post.This could be you! If you are chosen you will be the ‘Friday Reflections featured writer‘! We will also tweet a link to your post, and a link on Facebook to let all our followers know how fabulous you are. It’s a great way to grow your personal following.
How you become Involved.
Simple! First of all check out the 3 prompts we have provided for the week and let your inspiration take over, start writing!Grab our badge and proudly display it on your sidebar and/or on the post you are linking up.
Then on Friday just link up your post with us. This can be done right here.
- After Linking Up, you must read and leave a comment on both the hosts websites.
- You must read and comment on the post linked up before your own.
- Please also read and comment on at least one other linked up post that grabs your attention.
- Of course you are welcome to read as many as you like! Remember if someone reads and comments on yours it is lovely to return the favour.
- Janine and Mackenzie will read all posts linked up with Friday Reflections, and then choose their featured writer! The Link up will be open from Friday afternoon GMT + 8 until the following midday Wednesday.
- If you link up something inappropriate, Janine and Mackenzie reserve the right to remove your post.
- All posts must be your own, and original content. One post per week.
- Be kind! Us writer’s work hard, show each other respect at ALL times.
- Most importantly have FUN, be creative, reflect and love what you do!
Sharing is caring. Tweet your posts to us and @FridayReflect using the hashtag #FridayReflections or #RefectiveFridays.
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Join our Facebook Group where you can share your weekly post. We will also add our new prompts here and announce our weekly Friday Reflections Featured Writer. It could be you!
Final Word from Mackenzie and Janine.
We are so excited to begin our journey with you, to invite old friends to join us on this reflective journey, and meet wonderful new friends and amazing bloggers along the way! Feel free to Link-Up each week, or whenever you are feeling inspired.
We started this Link-Up together when we realised we shared a passion for reflection, (you can tell this simply by reading our website names), and we share the desire to inspire and empower others to follow their true path.
Enjoy and start following your path to happiness, with Janine and Mackenzie at Friday Reflections.