Sometimes keeping up with an 11 year old seriously does my head in. It is like being on a rollercoaster. As we go up it is all wonderful and exciting, then you get the view from the top and it is magnificent, but on the way down you feel completely out of control and scream your head off! Today we had all the moments in a matter of hours. This morning she was in a fab mood, I woke up to the giggles and scooters speeding around the veranda past my bedroom window. Aspen and her siblings were having the best time hanging out together. This was followed by stacks on in the bed and the loads of hugs for me. Then the girls made a pretend shop in the living room and we all had to go and buy things like books, pens, and toys. Yep the view from the top was wonderful!

Suddenly the rollercoaster started its decent, my sweet 11 year old disappeared and was replaced by a grumpy and defiant pre-teen. She wasn’t joining in anything we did, and I could barely get a word out of her. She refused a hug to try and cheer her up and didn’t even want to join us for lunch. Yep she was mad, only it seemed to be for no reason. At least no reason that I could figure out. But I’m not sure as a tween you need a reason do you?

The next thing I knew she buried her head into me and held on tight. She shed a few tears and wanted me to hug her. I think she was trying to break the world record for hugging, she just wasn’t going to let go. So I put aside what I wanted to get done and held on tight to my sweet, sad girl. We had a little chat about how confusing life can feel, how sometimes emotions can be all over the place. “It’s not fair”, she said. I have to agree with her that sometimes it just doesn’t seem fair. I mean life can be pretty amazing, but there are times we feel things for what seems like no reason. Sometimes we just get in a crappy mood and we can’t explain it. Maybe we are tired, or maybe it’s hormonal? I guess we can’t be ‘up’ all the time.

It’s not easy as a mum, seeing your child confused, grumpy, sad, or at a loss to explain what they are going through. I know as she edges closer to her teen years their will be lots of ups and downs and unexplainable tears. I just hope I can help her through it, and I also hope my patience can hang on. For the most part I try to be understanding, and tolerate the change in moods, but sometimes when I am so tired I feel I could collapse, I find it hard to keep my cool. “Breathe” I tell myself, and I remember how lucky I am to be a mum, and to have a healthy daughter. I try be understanding of my child whose body and mind are going through so many changes that she can barely keep up.

Yesterday when I was out with April, Aspen spent hours working on baking and decorating a cake for her little sister just to tell her she loves her, and she is proud of something brave April had done. Sometimes, in fact most of the time my 11 year old is the most generous, sweetest girl in the world and these are the moments I keep in mind when she is driving me totally insane.

I told her that it is OK to feel your emotions, it is OK to sometimes feel mad or angry, just as it is OK to cry. I mean at the end of the day I think it is better for all of us to share our feelings with someone we trust than it is to keep them bottled up. So if I have to spend time hugging my emotional daughter then I will spend that time being grateful that at least she came to me with how she feels rather than bottling it up. Let’s hope she keeps coming to me for those hugs for many years to come.

56d96967123ff351985d10198678c854

What about you? Do you have a tween or teenager who behaves like this? Or do you remember going through this confusing stage yourself? Love to hear your thoughts so feel free to leave me a comment below,

Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

10 thoughts on Parenting

2015-01-12_17-32-00