Life is truly a mismatch of moments, right in this moment over the tapping of my keyboard I hear songs of the different birds that call my garden home. Moments like now, as my open windows let the summer breezes wash over me remind me that life is full many blessings.
Recently I watched the sunrise over the ocean, and that evening I watched it set. A day. A day can hold so much. We never truly know what each day will bring us, we can plan, we can hope, but so much is unwritten. No matter how much we wish we could control, or manipulate the outcome of each day, nature reminds us we are truly at its mercy. We cannot control the sun, clouds, or storms, and we can not control anyone, we can only control how we react to what a day brings our way.
Life has presented me with so many gifts, yet it has crushed me to the point that I could barely raise my head and go on. It has made me cry tears of joy and gratitude, yet it has ripped out my heart leaving me bloody and bruised. My journey is unique, as everyones is, yet it is also no different. We have all suffered, we have all celebrated, we have all begged for the pain to stop, and we have all wished to hang onto moments that took our breath away.
There is no denying there were times where I struggled to see out of the darkness, where I thought I had nothing to offer anyone especially myself. Words like mindfulness, and being in the moment felt like foreign concepts, why would I want to be present in a moment that was full of pain? I persisted though, even in my weakest moments somehow there was an inner strength, a light, a will to survive. So as hard as it was I searched for something in those moments that was worth grasping on to. I listened for the bird songs, I felt the wind in my hair, the sound of fallen leaves under my feet, somehow I began to see a path out of the pain.
I can only control me. It leaves me vulnerable, but it also gives me power. I am full of faults, of scars, they are not ugly though, they are beautiful, as are yours.
Recently I shared with you the concept of being still, of being quiet and letting thoughts, or resolutions come to you. For me one word came to mind, Sparkle. This year I am going to sparkle. I am not going to adorn myself with jewellery, or wear sequinned tops, I am talking about my inner sparkle. My light. Whatever this year brings, I am determined to not let anyone, or anything dull my sparkle. I am going to remain authentically me. I am going to give honest compliments and smile at the people I walk past on the street, or who serve me in shops. These are things I do already, I am going to focus on this more though, and try to make other peoples lives happier by sharing whatever kindness and light I can.
What are you going to focus on this year?
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx