Who are we supposed to be? Do you even know what it is you want for your life yet? Have you found your place, are you feeling fulfilled, and confident that you know which direction your life is going? Do you know who you are?
Huge questions, right? Maybe you do know, and maybe you are still figuring it out? But if we are still working on ourselves now, imagine what life was like at 14. Did you know who you were at 14? If you could go back and give yourself advice what would you say?
It honestly doesn’t feel like my life as a fourteen year old was that long ago, yet it is. But I still remember many of my fears, and much of my excitement of that age. The age where friends mattered so much, and days of coming home, and still spending hours on the phone attached to the wall talking to my girlfriends about boys, parents, school drama, and shopping. Weekend sleepovers were always on the agenda. In many ways it is an age where possibilities seem endless, yet also scary all at once. Fitting in can matter more than anything else. And even though I still recall those teenage years so well, when it comes to teens these days so much has changed.
Of course much remains the same, but when I was a teenager there was no social media, no need to know about cyber safety, I didn’t wake up at 5am with a desperate need to check my phone for messages, or check my Instagram feed. On the weekends where I was home having time with my family I might have known some of my other girlfriend’s were hanging out together, but I wasn’t seeing social media feeds of them hanging out without me, laughing and having fun, there was no visual of what I was missing out on. We could shut ourselves off so much more than the teens can these days.
In 3 sleeps I will have a teenager. I am about to be a mum to a teen!
Aspen and I have a fantastic bond, I feel really blessed with her maturity, and kind heart. Like every child, she has her moments of attitude, and when she’s tired she can be very emotional. But she has the most beautiful heart. She is still super affectionate, and loves to have long discussions about life and feelings with me. She does really well at school, I receive high praise from her teachers, she has gorgeous friendships, and she still loves playing with her younger siblings who are 10 and 7. I hope I have done enough to set her up with a great foundation, but I am not naive to think that the teenage years will be easy. In fact I am pretty scared as we enter this new phase. So when a friend mentioned over coffee last week a book titled “being 14” that was about ‘helping fierce teens become awesome women’ I was very interested to find out more!
The next day another friend messaged me that she had the book and offered to lend it to me. I am now half way through and can barely put it down!
“Count to ten
Take it in
This is life before you know who you’re gonna be”
Taylor Swift, lyrics from “Fifteen”.
If you have a child who is fast approaching becoming a teen I highly recommend this book! In fact I would recommend reading it if you have a daughter from age 9 or ten, upward to eighteen. Although the book is based on teen girls I think it would still be great for parents of teen boys to read it too. I always believe the better boys understand girls, the easier life will be for both sexes.
“Madonna King”, writes of the changes in the moods girls experience,
“from a wavering self-esteem to an obsession with the latest fad; from rolling her eyes at her mother’s request for a hug, to wanting an embrace, desperately, but not knowing how to ask.”
I think these words below highlight how in-between a teen can feel,
“I’m not a girl,
Not yet a woman.
All I need is time,
A moment that is mine,
While I’m in between.
I’m not a girl,
There is no need to protect me.
It’s time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own.
I’ve seen so much more than you know now,
So don’t tell me to shut my eyes.
I’m not a girl,
But if you look at me closely,
You will see it in my eyes.
This girl will always find
Her way”.
Brittany Spears, lyrics from “I’m not girl, not yet a woman”.
As much as I worry about being a mum to a teen, I know it will be even harder on my daughter as she tries to figure out her own place in the world she lives in. If this book helps me understand her journey better, then I will happily read it. As parents I think we have to do what we can to see things from their point of view, to practice patience with them, but also to know what boundaries we should be setting. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment below, or offer advice.
My girls.
And now time to share with you my favourites from this weeks Instagram Hashtag
Top Left was shared by @mommyandrory
Top Right was shared by @tarajgreaves
Bottom Left was shared by @messywawa
Bottom Right was shared by @leaning_in
Thank you to everyone who has been supporting this community and sharing their fantastic images with me. If you would like a chance to be featured just tag your Instagram pics with #livingfearlesslyauthentic! You can follow my insta @macglanville.
And of course it is time for my #mg link up party!
Feel free to join in if you are a blogger, if you are not joining in, you may still really enjoy clicking on the linked up posts and having a read.
Rules for linking up are
- One post per week per person please.
- You must display my badge, code below.
- Please comment on the host post, the one linked prior to your own, and at least one more that takes your fancy.
- If you link up early I’d love you to pop back and look at some of the posts linked up later if possible.
- Please follow me on Twitter and Instagram @macglanville, if you have an account.
- Please Tweet, and share as many of other people’s posts as possible using the #mg hashtag.
- When you comment on people’s posts I’d love you to let them know you found their post through #mg, thanks.
Have Fun!
This weeks most popular post was from Meme and Harri with “2017 – the year of change“. If you haven’t read this post please pop over and take a read.
My favourite post was from Nana with “Making Less More”. If you haven’t read this post I can not recommend it enough, please take a look.
My own Host Post this week “parenthood, loneliness and finding your tribe” was inspired by Wendy and her #mg linked up post from last week “just another lonely mum”. If you haven’t read her post I highly recommend you do.
You may also enjoy checking out my favourites Mummy Shot Photos this week #mummyshot HERE.
You may also enjoy reading my post about “parenting and loneliness“.
Or my post about “looking on the bright side“.
Thanks for joining me , love Mackenzie xx
11 comments
It can ve scary as a mother, more so now that social media occupies a huge space in our lives. But I’m sure she will be fine because she has you. When I was 14, I don’t think I knew what I wanted to do. I wish I did because then I would have worked hard at achieving what I really want from life. I’m still figuring out who I want to be and I’m already a mom now. So, I don’t know. I just hope we give our girls the right foundation as you mentioned and the rest will be fine.
Hi Mac,
This looks like a really good book. Cygnet is 2 so I have a while before he is a teenager but I am nervous already about what teenage years will bring. It sounds like you have a great relationship with Aspen. I am sure it’ll be tested, but you will get through the teenage years today. Good luck. Pen x #mg
That sounds like an amazing book!
Mine will be turning just eleven and yet I’m worried about their teens. You’re right though, it is way harder on then than on us and we need to remember that.
As someone who works with adolescents I can empathise with the struggles of parents during this stage. A parent recently just mentioned this book to me at work. I feel for teens these days because of social media and all the pressures. When I was 14, the big pressure I remember is studying and doing well as I was in Year 10 and wanted to get a good mark in the school certificate. And of course, there was the usual interest in boys and social falling out but nothing too dramatic.
It sounds like you have a beautiful bond ❤️ I really hope Lilly and I have a strong relationship and that she feels she can talk to me about anything. I’m really conscious of nurturing and protecting our relationship and I think about it often, even though she is only 1 now.
Thank you for featuring my insta post 😘😘
Oh but first of all, what a gorgeous, scrumptious photo of your girls at the end there Mac! As for that book. Well, our girl 7 but the teenage years will be here soon enough and I will definitely reading this book. It sounds pretty indispensible to me in readiness for those hormones! Thanks for hosting #mg
You’ve made me well up here!! It’s been a bit of a week I have to say and one of the things I wish I could do is to tap back into myself as a teen and remember how I was feeling. It’s a distant memory but I always thought that it would aid understanding at difficult times. I shall be getting this book but you have also triggered something in my mind which I need to give further thought to – for this I thank you! So glad you have joined us at #tweensteensbeyond, it’s great to have you here. I have always loved your posts but have never been successful in commenting. Let’s see if this works. I hope Aspen had a beautiful birthday. Nicky
Mac welcome to the club! I am a great one for saying that having been a teenager is not the same as raising one. It is a whole different ballgame. It is, however, full of so many happy moments to accompany the occasional challenges that inevitably come with maturing. It is wonderful that you are keen to continue being so supportive of Aspen on this next part of her journey. Becoming a teenager was a big deal for my daughter and next week she will be 14. She says she feels like she is a proper teenager now that she has one year under her belt but of course there is so much more to come yet. I will be buying her this book as an extra gift. So glad you have joined us it is like having the queen to tea! #TweensTeensBeyond
no thank you i would not go back to being 14 again, i’m happy where i am at 45. i have a few close friends from that time and we talk a lot about the differences now for our kids in regards to SM, but the issues are still here, just in a different format
I didn’t know about this book. I’ll add it to my reading list. I recently read ‘Girl up’ by Laura Bates (I pinched my 18 year old’s copy) and I learnt so much about the pressures young girls face these days and sexism in everyday life. Happy birthday to Aspen! Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond
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