The beginning of each new day brings with it new possibilities, quite often we have already made plans for this day, a list of things we set out to achieve in order to feel accomplished, happy and satisfied with ourselves and our day.
We have a set of objectives that we want to achieve, and if we don’t achieve them by days end we can be left feeling annoyed, and disappointed with ourselves. It can be helpful to have ‘to do‘ lists and plans, but we have to be aware of the fact that ‘life happens‘. I have long been a perfectionist and when I don’t achieve the things I believe I should, or live up to my (self sabotaging) high standards, I can be left feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with myself. Let’s be honest, that is no way to live. Since having children in particular, I have had to let go of unrealistic expectations and that sense of control, I mean babies are perfect for breaking you out of your comfort zone, and for letting you know you can no longer control how your day will go!
Having control is an illusion, whether you have children or not, we can not control everything, we certainly can not control other peoples behaviour, reactions or feelings. (Although I’m sure many people are still trying). We can not control weather, or traffic, and many other things. The main thing we can control though, is how we react to what happens to us, and how we react to people, and events that occur each day.
One way we can better deal with frustrations over the things that interrupted our good intentions, or plans, is to stop fixating on what we didn’t achieve! In fact we need to do the complete opposite!
Instead of looking at your day as a collection of what you haven’t done, look at what you have!
This amazing photograph was shared with #LivingFearlesslyAuthentic by @motherofteensuk.
Just as when we choose to focus on the positives in life rather than the negatives we are a lot happier, we are also a lot happier when we focus on what our successful achievements are each day. There are days where I have had plans to get loads of things done, and instead I have had a sick child who has demanded my attention all day. Sure I didn’t achieve the things I set out to, but if I look at what I did achieve I feel a lot happier. For example I made my child feel safe and loved when he was feeling low, I strengthened a bond that is so important to me and to his development. At the end of the day those things matter more to me than anything.
Of course we can take this a step further, why limit this thinking to ‘one day’? We can look at what we achieved for the week, or even in our life this far. Have you ever heard of a Reverse Bucket List? It is a great way to increase your happiness and sense of achievement. It is basically making a list of things we have achieved, rather than the things we wish to achieve. When you are having a down day it can be great to look at this list and remind yourself of happy times and your achievements.
It is very simple. Just grab a pen and paper and start jotting down all the things you have achieved, big, small and in-between. It can be achievements, relationships formed, or experiences! Here are just a few things off my list as an example.
- being a loving aunt
- I have laid out on a starry night just watching the stars
- held a snake, and a crocodile
- jet skied
- climbed Uluru
- stayed up all night dancing
- swam with dolphins
- saved a life
- hand fed kangaroos
- my amazing body got pregnant 6 times
- canoed in Vanuatu
- flew in a helicopter over the Great Barrier Reef
- swam in waterholes
- laughed so much I cried
Once you start to create a list it just keeps on growing, you soon begin to see all the positive things you have done, and the amazing relationships you have formed. Grab a pen and paper and just start! Maybe leave me a short list of some of your accomplishments in the comment section?
When you get ready for bed tonight, remember to pause and reflect on all the things you managed to do today, or over the weekend, it may not be what you thought it should be, but you will be surprised by how much you have achieved.
It is now time for this weeks Living Fearlessly Authentic Round Up!
Each week I feature a roundup of my favourite photos from the Instagram Community #livingfearlesslyauthentic, here are my favourites this week,
These gorgeous photos were shared by;
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