I’ve been thinking about what makes a good friendship. How do you actually know if someone is a true friend? And what qualities are truly important in friendship?
- Trust! This is a must, if you don’t trust someone, or they don’t trust you, then I wouldn’t consider them a good friend. Trust is essential!! Sometimes people we love can make mistakes and trust can be broken, sometimes we can repair that trust. But if trust is a long term issue, then maybe this person isn’t a good friend to have around.
- Good Listener. Listening goes both ways in a friendship. It is all about give and take. At times your friends will need you to be the listener, and at times you will need them to listen to you. If a friendship is too one-sided have a think if this really is the kind of friendship you want to fully invest in?
- Laughter and Fun times. OK so first of all we all know life is not always full of good days, but with friends we need to be able to laugh, have fun and make wonderful memories.
- Hard times. Are they there for you when you are going through hard times? Are you there for them? If they were going through something terrible would you devote a good amount of time to listening to them, or going out of your way to support them? And ask yourself honestly, do you think they would do that for you? Friendship should never be all one sided. If you take, and take from someone, but never give, then maybe you just don’t care enough about this person and you should cut them loose? On the flip side if you give and give, and yet when you need them they seem to be too busy, or just unavailable, are they really the friend you thought they were?
- Can you be yourself around this person? To me this is the huge question!
OK so take a moment now and picture your friends. Perhaps make a mental list, or write a list of people you consider good friends.
Ask yourself these, “when I am around ……………… can I truly be me? Can I be totally authentic? Do I try too much to impress this person? Do I have to try too hard to feel liked by this person? Am I always going out of my way to help this person, and they don’t do the same for me?”
“Am I taking advantage of this person’s friendship? Do I really enjoy this person’s company? Are they taking advantage of me? If I had to name the people who were really there for me when I went through a tough time, would I list this person? Would I trust this person with a secret? If they told me a secret would I keep it to myself?”
This fab photo was shared by @ethannevelyn. With #livingfearlesslyauthentic
There is a saying that I am sure you have all heard of, or read before
This quote is just so true, we do know what to do, if we just allow ourselves to be honest. It is tempting to try and hang onto friendships that have clearly ended, that no longer serve a purpose in our life, or that are hurting us. It can be hard to let go, especially if this person remains in our lives through others. But sometimes we need to accept that having this person in our life is actually causing us hurt, and heartache. If you are desperately trying to hold on, or please someone and they are not doing the same, then let them go. Set both them and yourself free. You can still be polite when you see one another, and say hi, but don’t go out of your way for someone who is clearly not there for you any longer. If it is not obvious then have a chat with them, maybe you are misreading signals, or they are just extremely busy? If they have been a great friend in the past then be honest with them about how you feel. As hard as it can be though, sometimes friendships do end, and that is OK! We move on, we make new friendships, and we learn along they way. Each person teaches us something, if we open our eyes and hearts we will see that.
Ask yourself again. Can I be my true self with this person?
Can I be fearlessly Authentic?
………open your heart, and find the answers. Life is too short for crappy friends, let’s celebrate the great friendships we have!
And now it is time to share my absolute favourite photographs that were shared with my Instagram hashtag this week #livingfearlesslyauthentic. Aren’t they fantastic.
Top left was shared by @intrepidbebe.
Top right is shared by @the_mum_project.
Bottom left is shared by @surrey_mama.
Bottom right was shared by @_four_diamonds_by_the_sea.
Thank you to everyone who has been tagging their photos with #livingfearlesslyauthentic, I am just thrilled with how many of you are joining in and sharing your lives with me, and each other. You inspire me everyday.
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx