when you remember me, remember to smile

“Our memories are moments that once lived in our present, we experienced them, felt them, breathed them in, sometimes we knew in that very moment we are making memories that would last us a lifetime, other times we didn’t realise how much a moment would mean to us until it had long passed. But my dear, when we can no longer be together I hope that when you remember me, you remember to smile.”

Mackenzie Glanville

It is a strange thing to think about what we would want to be remembered for when we are no longer around. We pass in and out of so many lives, some people will never even remember meeting us, others will never forget us. But to stop and ask “what will people remember about me?” Well that is an interesting question. There may also be a big divide between what I want to be remembered for, and what I am actually remembered for, after all we can not control what others ultimately think about us.

I guess it would be interesting, or maybe terrifying to ask friends and family what they would remember about me. Would I want to know???? But this weeks Friday Reflection prompt was what I want to be remembered for. 10 things in fact!

I know that when I was younger I would have simply said, I would want to be remembered as kind. But I feel as my daughters and son grow, especially Aspen who is almost a teenager my thoughts have changed somewhat. I have started to think less about what others think about me, and more about what I think of myself, and what sort of role model I am to my children.

I want to be a mother that they respect for the right reasons. I want to teach my daughters to be strong, kind, generous to themselves and to others, I want them to respect themselves and never feel like they have to conform in ways that go against their own morality and values. I want to be the role model of a strong, yet soft woman to my son also, so he will grow up respecting himself and women. Maybe in many ways these past couple of days has brought my feelings about this to the forefront of my mind. I am not going to get into politics and who is right or wrong, but I will say that Donald Trump is not the kind of Role Model I want for my son! I don’t want my son believing he can degrade women and be successful. I don’t want my children believing that they can put people down simply based upon their perceived level of beauty, their skin colour, sexuality, religion or gender and be proud of who they are!

So in many ways this highlights to me the kind of person I want to be remembered as.

1. I think the word “KIND” still encapsulates beautifully the person I want to be remembered as being, because kind to me means being thoughtful and considerate of how others feel, and also being considerate of my own feelings.
2. Open Minded. I want to be remembered as someone who was open to other’s opinions and beliefs. That if I could not understand them I would at least try, and I would listen.
3. I want be be remembered as a survivor and never a victim. Yes things and people have hurt me, but I want people to remember that I refused to live as a victim, I would not let people who tried to keep me down, or cause me harm win, that I remained kind hearted and positive despite what people tried to do to me. Luckily most people I know are pretty fabulous!
4. Silly, and not as in unintelligent, but as in I was always happy to have fun, let my inner child out and let people see that weird and wacky side of my personality.
5. A writer, I would hope that some people will remember me for some of the things I have or will write in my lifetime. I hope one day it is for my novel being good and not a flop (insert me giggling here, but yes I really hope it’s not a flop). I hope that something I write or share on my blog will help someone and they will remember the post they read that made them realise they were worthy of love, happiness and self acceptance. That would be awesome!!!! I hope to that my children remember me writing and how happy writing made me, and it will inspire them to follow their passion.
6. A singer! But let me clarify this one! Not a singer who actually has talent, but as a woman who sang despite her voice sounding nothing like Taylor, Adele, Madonna or Ariana! I want them to remember me belting out a tune with all abandon and enjoying every minute of it!
7. Trustworthy. That when someone told me something and asked me not to tell anyone that I would honour that. (Unless of course it was life or death!!)
8. A lover of animals. I want people to remember me as that crazy woman who could never resist giving an animal a home. And people would say “luckily her hubby kept her from turning her small home into a zoo!” lol.
9. A teacher. I came across video footage of myself at Aspen’s age recently, and I spoke on it about how I wanted to be a teacher and a writer. I always wanted to be a teacher from my earliest memories it was my dream, right up to the point where I was accepted into university to study to become a psychology teacher. Last minute I changed my degree. My life took a different turn, and I never became a teacher. Well in the traditional sense. What I realised is that I teach my children every day (no I don’t home school), but I teach them about values, life, love, and a million other things. Their father and I are their biggest teachers and that is a huge responsibility to be entrusted with these precious babies that we guide through life, that look to us for explanations, that learn right and wrong by watching us! I also think in some ways I teach through my writing and some of the posts I share on my blog. I hope I help guide some people to a happier life.
10. Finally I hope I am remembered as a student of life, that I am remembered for trying and learning. I am perfectly imperfect and I am totally OK with that. I will always try to be the best me, to be true to my values and beliefs and to learn from others, and I know I will fail at times, I will fall down, but I will always try and improve and learn. I will be open to always improving the person I am. I hope I am remembered as someone who was always willing to find new ways to be the best me I can be.

“I teach my children about life, I am their guide”

Aspen came in when I was writing this and I asked her what she would remember most about me, her answer was

• My advice when we have our special talks each night.
• How kind I am.
• How goofy I am.

I was pretty happy about that.

Have you ever wondered what people would say about you, or remember about you? What would you want them to remember? 

Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx

Today in Australia is Remembrance Day, where we honour those who fought for the freedom and safety of our nation, at 11am on the 11th day of the 11th month we as a country fall silent every year. We wear poppies as they were the flowers that grew on the felids where soldiers died, we wear them to remember. My daughter was asked to read a pledge of remembrance for young students. I apologise as I don’t know who wrote it, but it is so beautiful I wanted to share it with you.

“I am young and I am worthy. I am brave and I am strong.

In the face of any challenge. I will strive to rise above.

I deserve this opportunity to live, to learn, to love.

I can truly make a difference; my path is up to me.

And this is my commitment – be the best that I can be.”

I truly believe we can all learn from these words.