Should I have had 3 children? Is 3 too many? People often ask me how life changes going from 2 children to 3, is it as hard as what people say? Is everyone with 3 kids really going a little crazy? Does having third child tip you over the edge to insanity?
To be quite honest yes I am a little insane, but then again I always was, so nothing much has changed there. Am I busier absolutely, am I struggling to find me time, of course, but am I happier than I ever thought possible? Most definitely I am, and I wouldn’t change being a mum of 3 for anything in this world.
I honestly think I found the transition from none to one the most difficult of all. Going from being a couple who did whatever we pleased, whenever we pleased to suddenly having this precious little baby who needed me 24/7 was a huge shock to the system. Having Aspen was the best, most miraculous thing that could have ever happened to me, but also the most life changing.
Then when Aspen was almost 3 we were blessed with another little girl and life got busier. I didn’t have as much time for Aspen and I found that really difficult. Luckily April was a fairly placid baby, but she still made a a massive impact. Aspen and I were used to our comfortable routine and April didn’t just slide into that. At 7pm it was time to settle Aspen and put her to bed, but April had other ideas, this was her screaming time! Then when Aspen and I would try to sleep in, April was an early riser. Life had changed for good.
Two and a half years later our little boy arrived and he also had a mind of his own. Endless hours of pacing the halls, yes he was taking up all my time. April found this particularly hard, at 2 and a half she still wanted to be the baby, but Adam was here to stay.
Life is busy with three kids, heck life is busy without any kids, but each one you add to the fold brings extra demands on your time and attention. I only have two hands, yet all three children want to hold my hand whilst crossing the road. I can only sit next to two children at the dinner table and yes you guessed it, all three want to sit next to mummy. Yes they have a dad they could sit next to, but we are still in the ‘mummy’ ‘mummy’ phase.
After school activities and weekend school parties with 3 kids are never ending, you feel like a taxi and you have to be a social queen. There are so many new mums to meet. When Adam started school this year I was nervous as I had to meet a whole new set of families for the third time.
Money also gets spread thiner, we can’t afford as much as we could if we had stopped at one. If only Santa really did supply Christmas presents. When Adam was born we also needed a bigger car, we had to fit extra car seats and a pram in! Now they are older we can all fit back in a normal sized car that doesn’t use so much fuel. Depending on if you are happy to have your children share a room you may also want a bigger house.
Another tricky thing we have found with having three kids is holidays. Most fancy hotels only cater for a family of four. I often see great holiday deals that say includes 2 adults and 2 kids, and even if I check with them they say ‘no’, they can’t fit in an extra child, it is really quite annoying. Even family passes to parks are usually for four.
Then I could mention the never ending, increasingly large pile of washing and ironing, the crazy amount of dirty dishes and the extra tidying up that needs doing around here. But none of that actually bothers me. If I am honest the hardest thing about deciding whether or not we should have a third child was the numbers game. With 2 children it meant they just had each other, their was no third sibling to interfere with their bonding. I spoke to a family friend who also had two girls like me, and she was from a family of three girls herself. Growing up she shared with me how at times her two sisters were close and she was left out, and at other times she was close with one or the other sister and the other sister felt left out. My daughters were already developing a strong bond and I was worried a third child would change all this. As a kid I always liked everything paired up nicely. I always said I would have four children, or even six and I always paired everything up. So to have three felt unnatural to me. I came from a family of four. 2 boys and 2 girls, nice and neat. So if I was going to try for a third I would need to have another one at some point. (Well I’m not going too).
So yes there are challenges, but there are also so many wonderful things that come with having 3 or more children that more than make up for anything I could moan or worry about.
My favourite is getting to know 3 completely different little people. Watching them grow and develop their own amazing personalities. They are all so different, and manage to surprise me and impress me every day. They have many similarities, but they are each their own unique little being. I love how creative Aspen is, she can amuse herself for hours and she draws so beautifully. She is really in touch with her emotions and will always be there for anyone if they need help or are upset. April is quirky with a dry and quick witted sense of humour. She is friends with everyone and super easy going. She is the type of child who works really hard at school, but also knows how to have loads of fun. Adam is so affectionate and cheeky, he is so well behaved when we are out, or when he’s at school that people compliment me on him all the time, but when he’s at home he is like a tornado, he is wild! He has a very caring heart and adores his big sisters.
Watching them together is what makes me happiest. All my worry about pairing them off perfectly was a waste of time. They are amazing together. They play so well together and share beautifully. When it comes to school holidays they amuse each other, play games together, draw together and it is fantastic. Yes they fight, yes there are times all three are tired and driving me crazy, but what’s life without a little chaos and crazy?
I am not going to lie, it is a huge change, and when they are sick there is an extra child to worry about, and financially it is harder. I can’t always give my children everything they may wish for, but I think that’s an important lesson for them anyway. When I was pregnant with Adam, both his life and mine were at risk, by a miracle we are both healthy and still here. I would love another baby, but the risk is not worth it. From previous blog posts you would know by now that having children wasn’t easy for me. I am so grateful to have 3 children. I feel truly blessed. If you are on the fence with should you have a third baby or not I would say go for it. I think that although some things get tougher, some things the third time around are easier too. After Adam I had to learn to stop being the perfect house cleaner and allow some mess into our lives, I had to learn that not everything goes to plan, or runs on schedule, and it actually is OK, the world keeps spinning if I don’t get a bed made!
So should I have had 3 children? Absolutely 100% YES!!!!!!!
Love to hear your thoughts, how many children do you have, did you have as many as you thought you would? Did you decide to have no children? Are you considering having more?
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
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