“Writing for me is like breathing fresh air, I need it to survive”
Many years passed where I forgot, or perhaps denied myself my love of writing. On a desperately cold day I took a walk, but on this particular walk I decided to soak everything in around me. The crisp air, the sound of the leaves, I noticed the way the birds played amongst branches and I picked up a stone and admired its beauty. I turned that stone over and underneath was moss and dirt. It was in that very simple moment where I truly saw myself for the first time in years. Looking at the stone I felt like I was seeing into my own soul.
The way the stone on the outside put forward an image of beauty, yet underneath told a different story, it was my reflection. Inside I felt like I was a mess, I was completely lost, and I was hiding my true self from the world. Yet suddenly I saw the moss as a having a story, having a raw kind of beauty, and if only people looked deeper they would see that too. Yet how could anyone ever see who I was if I denied them that? How could I ever truly see myself for who I was if I too was hiding even from myself? I walked away leaving that stone moss side up.
The minute I got home I wrote a poem, and then I couldn’t stop writing. Suddenly I was beginning to feel like I was no longer suffocating. How had I denied myself what I had truly needed all this time?
Lately I have written more about change and the way we evolve, I have been feeling a weight pressing down on me, and a fog settling in. Perhaps part of that has been my anxiety over Aspens surgery which is thankfully now over and she is doing really well. Yet, I think it goes beyond that. Looking at this blog that I created on a whim a few years ago without having ever read a blog myself prior to staring mine, I feel proud of what I have created here. I think at times I have stumbled and wondered should I continue to blog and then I get a comment saying how a piece I wrote helped someone, or inspired them. I get emails saying how much they have enjoyed reading my blog with their morning coffee, or how I helped someone feel less alone, and then I know it is all worth it.
I love my little space, yet I have also grown to see it as a burden, or as something that restricts me from pursuing my fictional writing. How can I speak and encourage authenticity if I stop following my heart?
I asked another blogger recently for advice and she said “do what makes your heart sing”. Simple. Yet so often we complicate things. It made me think of how I had just been out the front sitting on the grass with Aspen as she heals, we were taking in the afternoon sun with two dogs enjoying getting tummy rubs. My younger two were on their scooters immersed in imaginary play. I was giving them pretend errands to run, telling them to scoot to the pet store, grocery store or post box, (which where just trees on our street), they were so happy, and my heart was truly singing.
These are the moments that make me realise that life is so very precious and we truly do have to do what brings us inner peace and happiness.
I need writing in my life, I have no question about that, but I have decided to cut back on blogging, just a little, to explore more of my creative writing, and take away pressure of link ups. I have decided although part of me loves my #mg link up, that I just can no longer keep up with it. I will continue with the #ablogginggoodtime link up as it is less pressure with two other bloggers working on it with me. I am sad to see it go, and I know that many of you who show so much support for #mg will be disappointed. I hope you will join in on Thursdays to Saturdays with A Blogging Good Time.
I will still be on Instagram as I love it there so please follow me there @macglanville. I may be fading a little from here, but I will be blossoming in the areas that I need to right now in order to be happier within myself. Right now my family, and simple days are where my heart lies. I hope you all can take from this how important it is to allow ourselves to stop, reflect, and then move forward in a way that allows us to live fearlessly authentic.
Thanks, love Mac xx
29 comments
I will miss the #mg linkup, but I think it’s so much more important for you to do what makes you happy. All the best with your fiction writing! xx
I think it is a wise choice. I’m also feeling the pressure of running two linkys per week. It’s a bit nuts! I will of course continue linking up with you on #ablogginggoodtime . And I look forward to see your first book coming soon! Good Luck lovely Mac! xxx
You are such an inspiration, Mac! I fully support your choices and your needs, 1000%. I am so glad to have met you in this space. You have influenced me greatly, and I thank you for that. AND, I look forward to watching you blossom ever more. <3 <3 <3
Ah lovely I will miss your #mg – and I hope you do continue with your blog. You always bring a sense of calm to me. Life is hard and such a balancing act, with children especially time is so precious so it is important you spend it being happy.
Sending love to you all x
My lovely friend, I am so glad that you listened to your heart. Much love and I am al aye here for you 💕
My lovely friend, I am so glad that you listened to your heart. Much love and I am always here for you 💕
Hi Mackenzie sometimes we need to take a break and try different things.Hope Aspen gets better soon .
But I need to tell you one thing.Blogging is also creative writing and if you need some inspiration read or revise Big Magic .It helped me when I was feeling rudderless.
Best wishes
I’m excited for you! You stand out as a skilled writer – I think you are making a good choice! Go for it! xx
Your Monday link up is one of my faves Mac but like you I have been struggling to make time for all the linkies I am in, blogging, and my fictional writing. I have had no time for the fictional writing yet I keep getting ideas in my head about all sorts of stories. Keeping it inside until I have the time is taking its toll on me so I have to figure out how to spend my time better. I cut back to blog posts once a week but the linkies are taking a lot out of me so I completely understand. Exactly what your friend said, Do what makes your heart sing!
Happy Easter MG!!!! Your friend is right, you’ve got to do what makes your heart sing and dance. I shall miss the MG linky as it was a lovely community but everything has it’s season and letting things go means having the space to do something new. A book! How wonderful and exciting. I wish you all the best with it and if you need a pre-publication reader, then let me know.
See you on Thursday and have a wonderful week 🙂
Yes to fading in one place so you can blossom better and more fully in another. I’ll miss this Monday meeting, but will still be connecting with you later in the week.
Blessings to you!
Oh Mac where to start? I have been out of the loop blogging wise for the last couple of weeks as my site crashed/was hacked and I lost so much data that I have been consumed with getting it back on track and to be honest deciding whether I have the energy to continue that I have missed out on what is happening with my favourite bloggers.
My immediate reaction on starting to read your post was “I hope she is not quitting!” Like all your other lovely supporters I would be sad to see you disappear from the blogosphere for good. You are such a talented writer and it goes without saying I have loved #mg.
That said I understand only too well that there is a need to stand back sometimes and do what is right for you and your family. It is so easy for the balance to tip in the wrong direction. I hope that Aspen will make a speedy recovery and that you will flourish with your creative writing – although there is little doubt in mind that you won’t!
I look forward to seeing you again soon at #ablogginggoodtime once I get my site back together. Many virtual hugs. Jo xx
I’m going to miss the MG link up. But I’m with you. If you need to cut back on this then it’s okay. Do it. We are with you. All the very best 🙂
Ah, I’ll miss you in this form Mac but totally get it. And simpler days are what she should all strive for. Enjoy your writing x
I totally understand how linkys can be so time consuming. It’s so important to do what you love and shake things up from time to time. See you on Thursdays. x
I hear you and support you. As you know, I pulled back in the last 2 years too, and although it was sad it allowed me space to be with my family and do what needed to be done. It’s also helped me to assess why I write, blog and more … and whether I enjoy it anymore (and if not, why!). I’ve missed connecting with people like yourself however. This is a hard decision you’ve made but it will be worth it. Love and hugs xxx
I hope this new journey or direction works out for the best for you! Good luck as you navigate the new normal. #ablogginggoodtime
A lovely post. I often feel that about writing: like you looked at that stone and that moss, writing about them is liking looking at them properly, as if for the first time. I think the writing that most touches me is stuff that takes a subject I know well, or maybe took for granted, and writes about them in a fresh, unjaded mannerway that makes me look at it anew, as if I had never looked at that way before. I also think the notion that by writing less in one area, you will automatically produce more in another might be a fallacy. I see writing as the loves and fishes; the more you write the more comes out. You just need to actually take the time to do it. And I believe there is always time. #ABlogggingGoodTime
good luck with your creative writing. I look forward to your first published novel….. #ablogginggoodtime
You should always do what works for you, what’s good for you. If it starts feeling like it’s stressful, then that’s a sign you have too much on your plate. #kcacols
Sorry meant to say #ablogginggoodtime
Totally important to do what is right for you and your family #ablogginggoodtime
You have to go with what is right for you and makes you happy X #ablogginggoodtime
you have to do whats best for you #ablogginggoodtime
Good luck with your writing! Blogging takes up so much time doesn’t it. Not worth doing if your heart’s not in it #ablogginggoodtime
I completely understand as I’ve been feeling something very similar. I haven’t published any fiction since 2016. Having my son consumed all my time and energy. I began blogging last year as a creative outlet, a way of trying something more editorial which I’ve always enjoyed too. But I miss writing in that way. I miss writing for the joy of it, of letting words spill out. I reread some work I’d written in 2013 recently and thought “Wow, I did that?” I am cutting back on blogging too. I’ve posts scheduled for the next few weeks but after that who knows. I only ever wanted to write on my little space when I had something of value to say and blogging comes along with so much other “stuff.” I feel drawn into social media more and more despite a love-hate relationship with it and worry that I’m not being present. It feels a little like a burden, in part because I’m an all or nothing kind of girl and I have an issue with moderation. Do what makes your heart sing sounds like a good rudder for decision making. I shall miss your posts but I look forward to reading something else instead.
Good on you for realising that you need to make some changes, and for being brave enough to actually follow that realisation. I hope your heart will now get many moments of singing with joy! Take care of yourself 💗xx
#ablogginggoodtime
It’s impossible to do everything so it’s a wise decision to cut back on some things in order to focus on creative writing more. I would love to read some of it! #ablogginggoodtime
Oh Mac it seems like you’ve been doing a bit of soul searching recently. I totally understand where you’re coming from and it’s good to be able to reflect on your and your families needs right now and to respond accordingly. I can see how running the 2 linkies was a lot. Pleased you’re still doing #ablogginggoodtime though xx
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