“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”
Brene Brown
5 days a week I drop my children off at their school. There school is well away from the main road, and so I travel down a long path to get to where I can safely drop them off. I used to park the car every day, come rain, hail, horrendous wind, or sweltering sun, I would walk each child to class, holding their tiny hands, and waiting patiently with them for their teacher to arrive.
They needed that. My children were not confident. They were never the child you see happily waving to their parent from a distance, or the child lined up waiting excitedly to go into class. They were never the child you would see playing independently on the play equipment before the morning bell rang. Nor were they chatting happily to friends. They were all the child that hid behind their mum. The one the teacher would take by the hand a walk into the classroom every weekday.
That’s OK, they needed time. Plus I knew that they loved school. I knew they were thriving in their classrooms and making friends. I knew that their peers adored them, and that they adored them back. They just needed me to be there to reassure them. It took time for this to pass. April found it the hardest. But each morning as her teacher took her hand, and she would walk into class, I knew she would have a lovely day.
Adam, my youngest, age 7, has just begun year two, which is his third year of primary school. He is happy to be dropped off and not want me to walk him. So now I drop them all off.
The other day I was driving out of the school grounds and the traffic was moving slowly. I was driving past the part of the school that houses the Prep children and grade 1’s and I could see all the parents waiting patiently with their little ones for the bell to sound, and the teachers to come to class. The parents were chatting away to each other, some children running around, others by their parents sides. Some mums held younger siblings on their hips, or had prams with them, and I remembered how just a couple of year ago that was me.
I remember when Aspen started Prep and April was so small, Adam a newborn in his pram. Some mornings Aspen would cry, and I felt my heart break as I sent her off to class knowing her younger siblings had me all day. Then April started and she was so shy, so unsure how to cope with this big new world of school. I would take Adam home, just him and I and our precious one on one time. I felt guilty that April never had that. Being the middle child, she always had another sibling around. I would try to fit in time for just her, and I still do.
Then it was Adam’s turn. As Aspen walked with the confidence of a child now in the older grades, and April happily went off to grade 2 with no need to hide behind me any longer, Adam ventured into a new world of big school. New faces, and no longer in normal clothes just there to drop his sisters off, but now dressed in his uniform, his grown up blazer and shiny black shoes with laces. His massive backpack and an unsure look upon his face. My days of him being in a pram were long gone. I went home and there was no more one on one time, no messy toys, or annoying playdoh, no Peppa Pig, or Ben and Holly’s. It was freedom, but also it was strange, and a little sad too.
I drive past those classrooms most mornings now, and I see those parents, and I recall days of feeling overwhelmed. I remember feeling worried for my children, and yet excited for them too. I remember making new friendships, bonding over our fears, and laughing hysterically over so many other things. I remember winters of being freezing cold with big jackets on and warm gloves, begging the teacher to hurry up so I could go home for a warm coffee, and sunny mornings chatting well after our children had already gone to class.
Life is moving on now. These days my children walk themselves to class, the play happily before the bell goes, they chat to their friends. I feel so grateful that I have watched them go from needing to hide behind me, to now be happily waving me goodbye. I know this means that they feel safe. That I have chosen the right school for them, and I have given them enough confidence that they can say goodbye knowing I’ll be right there again when it is time to go home. I still cherish the huge hugs they give me, and some mornings there are still a few tears for whatever reason, but my kids are OK, and I am OK. We made it through those first precious years. I miss them, but I am also happy to let them go. I am forever grateful for those teachers who nurtured my shy children, and also for the other parents, now great friends, who supported me along the way. For not only have my kids come a long way, but so have I.
Now my eldest is in high school and almost a teenager, it is a whole new world for both of us! Wish me luck.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
Do you have school age children? Or children starting soon? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to leave me a comment below.
Have you joined in #MummyShot Instagram Community yet? It is a community where parents can tag their Instagram Photographs of their children that capture an emotion or tell a story without showing their child’s full face. As parents we don’t all like to share full face shots of our children on social media, which is exactly why #mummyshot was created. Here are some of the amazing photos shared with #mummyshot so far
If this is something that interests you all you have to do is tag your photographs with the hashtag #mummyshot and Catie from @animperfectmum and myself from @macglanville will show them some love, and then feature our favourites on our blogs each Saturday!
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26 comments
Secondary school from Primary is a really big transition! The schools are so much bigger, the work harder and there’s so much to take in. If they’re happy and confident, they should be okay but it’s worth keeping a close eye. Good luck! #SharingtheBlogLove
Back again from #mg
Aw, this is lovely. My son always had such a hard time and there were tears every morning until he turned 7 and would have to wait with him till the teacher come out to take the class inside. Sometimes I had to take him into his class and walk away listening to him crying, it broke my heart every time. Now I just dropmat the gate and he happily goes in by himself, it’s such a huge change. My youngest just started nursery this week (only 2.5 hours in a Monday morning) and is the polar opposite. I barely got a backward glance!
#SharingtheBlogLove
I know parents say this all the time but it’s only recently that I’ve started to appreciate quite how quickly the time flies! My son is just approaching 3, and will be starting school next year, which seems crazy to me – it feels like he was born a few months ago! It’s a really daunting thought – he’s settled really well at nursery, but it’s like starting all over again. And at nursery they’re still babies really and the staff are so accommodating – school won’t be like that and I wonder how he’ll cope as he does seem young for his age. But so often he surprises me with how well he adapts to the big things, hopefully starting school will be one of those times! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
Such a lovely post, I am in the stage of standing at the gates, my eldest (6) is happy to go in but stands with me until the gate opens and I love that she can stand there as long as she wants to to make her feel safe and because I know that I will look back and cherish these times x #sharingthebloglove
Some children do find it so hard. Thankfully N’s never had a problem going in, although I do still generally go into the playground with him before leaving to go to work. I miss out on the chat with other parents in the morning (he’s often at morning club anyway), and only do 1 pick up a week. Thankfully I do know other parents, but now he’s split off with 6 of the other year 1s into the lower class with reception, while all the others (including the parents who’re always there on time/people I know) are at the higher classroom. So I feel worse than I did when he was in reception when all the parents were the same year and knew each other.
It is amazing how they ease their way in though. #sharingthebloglove
(Do come and link this up to #SchoolDays if you want.)
Awww yes, my son is in reception so I still wait for him to go into class 5 days a week. My eldest is starting high school in September, she now walks to school alone – times are changing and changing too fast. Sarah #mg
This month I will gain another teenager! That makes 4 teenage girls under one roof – we both need luck! You are so right about the importance of letting go, for us and them and it becomes even more important in their teens and even harder. Now ‘letting go’ means leaving them or allowing them to be in situations of risk. Take a deep breath! Alison x #mg
I felt a massive pull when my boys became tweens and no loner ‘really’ needed me. I do love that they are more independent now though. Beautiful post lovely 💙 #MG
Longer not loner sorry
I remember going with my mom to drop my younger sister off at playschool. She would run off happily the moment she saw her teacher. But if she didn’t see mom the minute school was out, the waterworks would start! I still tease her about those years 😉
Stopping by again with #mg
My eldest is in his final year of infants and my daughter starts in September. I have no idea how they got so old already!!! #mg
I’ve got another year or so until Amelie starts school and I have to say I am worried about it. As you say I’m excited for her but also nervous about her making friends/being happy. It’s so nice to hear yours are happy and you went through the same xx
What a beautifully written post! I can’t imagine how it must feel to have such love and worry all rolled in to one, to have to let them go and make their way in the world. You sound like a wonderful and loving parent, sadly as a casual observer to parenting I see so many who aren’t X #mg
Your children sound a similar age to mine, although I did have the middle child alone for while before her brother arrived when she was 3. The school playground days are over for me, but they were taken suddenly when I became disabled and now my husband drops them off. I do miss it sometimes but my children are older and no longer need me there to hold their hands so I know how you feel. blink and school days will be over for good…eek!
#candidcuddles
Our elementary school did not allow parents into the building; not even on the first day! It was so rough on the kids.
Yes I remember our daughter’s first days at pre-school and school so very well. I must admit that although I was so nervous and apprehensive, she took to it very well. Then we moved house and this meant a new school. It was a rocky ride but you know what, she coped extremely and I had very little mummy guilt (you have to get on with it at times like that, don’t you?!) She’s growing into a confident girl and she’s happy and loves school, and that’s all that any mum can ask for! Thanks for hosting #mg
This is such a poetic post. From milestones to meltdowns, parenting a child is truly a journey and letting go for me is the hardest part. I’m a bit of a helicopter mom. High school is very challenging because it’s such a busy time with all the tests, college tours, and activities. It’s hard to keep up. It’s so important to remember to schedule in some down time with the family so the kids and mom don’t burn out. Good luck Mackenzie!#mg
I love how you accept so simply that some kids need their moms around. My daughter cried till grade two, because she was just too scared to go to school. Once she was there she’d forget it all but those few minutes before she boarded the bus were so bad they almost had me in tears too. I am just glad all of that is behind us. I love the way they skip off to school now.
What a lovely post, Mac. It’s true, we do grow up alongside them as they do. We experience the growing pains as parents. And when we see the flourish, it’s worth every minute. What a great mum you are! Savoring every minute is the key because to quote your post, ‘Life is moving on now.’ Beautiful #mg
It’s good to know that your children grew in confidence throughout school. #mg
#candidcuddles I’m jealous, as a teacher i won’t be able to drop mine off at school. i try and think about little dude growing as we are growing together – rather than he is growing up, it makes it easier to absorb the fast pace they grow. sounds like you are enjoying the present and changing seasons.
Mac this is a lovely reflection. I have written before about letting our children go and removing that safety net so that they can develop independently. It is hard but they only manage it successfully with the confidence of our parental support. Each parenting stage is a challenge full of new fears, moments of joy and huge achievements for the child and the parent. I am preparing for the next phase of our son leaving for University and I am clinging onto every last minute at the moment. It will also have a huge impact on our family dynamic as our daughter becomes the only child in the house. Our life is moving on for sure. Thanks for hosting. #mg
It us very difficult to let go and still hold on.On one side we want them to need us .But on the other we want them.to be strong. Moms fight am inner battle everyday.My daughter us 5 snd everydaywhen I take her to school I have to kiss her atleast 3 times before she goes off.
Oh gosh I can’t image high school but I know it will be here in a flash. My oldest turns 10 soon. I think you are right that some kids just need more time or more assurance than others. It’s great that you gave that. I adore the quote – finding gratitude & happiness in the little things makes for a happy life 🙂 Thank you for joining us at #candidcuddles x
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