I am a mum to a teenager, and although it feels crazy to say that, because “HELLO when the hell did that happen?” Wasn’t I just a teen myself? OK clearly not, but seriously this stuff sneaks up on you!
This is a warning to all of you Parents with adorable chubby legged toddlers out there, they don’t stay that way, and although they are probably driving you crazy and you want to run away to a permanent day spa one minute, they then do something really cute, and totally adorable and you want to freeze time, and yes you’re baby is a genius!
Anyway, as I said I am a mum to a teenager, and I’ve gotten to this point where I’ve realised that in 3 and a half years she will be eighteen, an adult, well legally an adult. The responsibility of being an adult is not as fun as we think it’ll be when we are a teen, the reality is we are meant to make grown up decisions and those decisions that will be made can, and will affect the rest of your life. It leaves me questioning, as a parent am I doing enough? Am I preparing her to make mature decisions? Have I sheltered her too much, or have I not sheltered her enough? Have we talked enough about life, the world, about responsibilities, body image, politics, love, career choices, the environment?
I am not sure if all parents feel the same, but there are certain values and beliefs that I want to bestow onto my children, yet I want them to have their own beliefs and be able express them to me, and debate with me why these things really matter to them. I don’t expect to have my children agree with me on everything, I want them to be passionate and well researched, I want them to make up their own minds about what truly matters to them. However, if I am being totally honest with myself there are certain topics that matter a lot to me, and it is hard to think they may not agree with those. Still I know deep down that I am doing my best, (which is not always the level of best I wish I was doing), to set a foundation for my children to feel empowered enough to speak their mind, to be honest with me, even if it means disagreeing with me. More than anything I want them to be their own unique adult, with their own passions and opinions, it may mean we may debate more, and have less in common, but I hope that I am raising them to know that without a doubt they will be loved by me no matter what their beliefs in this world turn out to be.
To myself I hope I will say. “I have done the best I can to lay a strong foundation that she can stand upon!”
To my daughter I hope I will say. “Take on the world in your own way, spread your wild and beautiful wings . . . go ahead and fly!”
Being a parent is not always easy, in fact it can be daunting and even terrifying. Yet it is the most magnificent thing I continue to do each day.
Thanks for reading this post today, if you have any opinions please leave me a comment, love Mac xx
9 comments
This is lovely, My daughter turned 13 a few months ago, like you said, how did that happen! Like you I just hope that I ave told her and talked to her enough that she is strong, independant and grows into a lovely adult.
#ablogginggoodtime
I am right there with you. I have two teens and have thought exactly the same things. Of course, I try to teach them my values, but what I want most is for them to have confidence in themselves and have their own thoughts and dreams. My son’s not one for chit-chat, but my daughter loves to ponder the world with me and I love it.
You have a wonderful parenting philosophy. It’s a balancing act between wanting our children to share our well-thought-out reasoning and allowing them to speak their own mind and make their own mistakes. I am so thankful that mine somehow survived my clumsy attempts at parenting! 🙂
My kids are 21 and 22 and I tried to raise with certain values. The chief of which is what I learn from Willie Nelson and that is “Don’t Be An A-hole.” To me it is that simple. As much as the world has changed since my days of growing up, the basic values are so time-tested and honored. #ablogginggoodtime
Time really flies. My oldest daughter is 11 going on 25. It seems like yesterday, she was a little chubby genius baby 🙂 I feel the way you do about it and think sticking with basic good values is the way to go. I know my kids have free will to make their own decisions and I will step back when it is time to give them space. I hope all the little things we have taught them along the way will stick and help them out in life.
This is really nice. I ask myself questions all the time and I also have beliefs and values I want to bestow on my kids. My daughter became a teen yesterday and I find myself asking even more questions as she’s getting older x #ABloggingGoodTime
This is truly a beautiful post, Mac. I know, in the blink of an eye, Big will go from 10 to teenager. I honestly know how we got to 8 and 10 now! And this parenting thing is indeed the most difficult and most truly rewarding thing a human can do. I am so lucky. <3 #ablogginggoodtime xoxo
I will have 3 teenagers all at the same time & am terrified at the prospect! I’m sure it will sneak up on me too! #ablogginggoodtime
Oh Mac! I am right there with you on this. My oldest just turned 17 and is ready to take on the world (in his own little way) and it’s frightening for me. I’m excited for him as he looks into different colleges he might want to attend. He wants to stay local because he has already stated several times that he doesn’t want to live in the dorms. At his age he already knows that he wants to stay at home for as long as possible. That works for me as I’m not ready to let him go just yet. He has another year of high school to go so we have some time but boy does it go fast! And I raise my boys to have their own opinions too. As someone who wasn’t allowed to have her own opinion growing up, it’s very important to me that they do. And I do ask often of myself, Have I done enough? #ABloggingGoodTime
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