Are you willing to be Vulnerable?
Are you willing to open yourself up to those around you? To show them the real you?
Are you willing to be authentic?
The truth is many of us are not. The thought of being vulnerable terrifies us. We want to control situations and there outcomes, we want to know what will happen if we open up. If we are brave enough to be ourselves we want to be assured that the person we show ourselves to will approve. If we are the first person in a relationship to say “I Love You”, we want to know they will say it back.
We live in a world that we can’t control. We can only control the way we react to a situation, we can not control how anyone else will react and that scares us. We want guarantees and the truth is we are only fooling ourselves if we think we are going to get them.
My brother and I had a discussion last week about private schooling versus public schooling. There is no doubt that the majority of parents want the best for their children and make the choices they do to achieve this. My brother brought up how much money an Uncle of ours spent on private education and extra tuition for his children in the hope they would go on to have highly successful and (well to be frank), high income earning careers. Both his children are neither what society would consider highly successful within their career choices nor are they rich. That is not to say they have failed, or are unhappy. The point is their parents had expectations of them that they did not live up to. Their parents wanted a garuntee that by sending their children to private school that their children would be their definition of successful.
But that is the thing about life, we can not control it, our choices come without a guarantee.
The sooner we accept this, the happier we will be. Trying to control everything is exhausting and that is because the only person we have control over is ourselves, we choose to behave, to live and to react to life. (Each Monday I run a link up where other bloggers can share posts with me, last week Mad House Mum wrote a great post about Taking Control.
Making ourselves vulnerable is terrifying, but is also they key to being happy. When you live your truth and open yourself up to being vulnerable you show others the true spirit of who you are and you give them the gift to show their truth also. Vulnerability is a gift you give to yourself and to all those who come in contact with your life.
I am a mum, and I would love a guarantee that my children will find a successful career that they are passionate about and that earns them a good living so they can have a lovely home and afford to care for themselves. I want them to find a partner who will adore and respect them, and that they will be free to give their hearts too. But I have no guarantees and that scares me to no end! But I can not live in fear of this, I can not let what may or may not happen cripple me, or stop me from showing up in life. What I can do and what I choose to do is be the best version of myself and hope that by my example my children will be vulnerable to taking chances, be vulnerable to love and to life so that they have a true chance to be happy!
And I want that for you too, I want you to know that it is OK to be vulnerable?
Really ask yourself, what are you so afraid of?
What if you take that chance and tell someone you love them? What if you take that chance and apply for that job? What if you show the other parents at the school who you truly are? What if you take a chance and it turns out amazing?
On the weekend I wrote about living with more balance in your life. If you feel like this is something you are lacking you can read about it here. I also shared this
Thank you for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
Welcome to my #mg link up party!
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Loading InLinkz ...Congratulations to the following bloggers!
Most clicked upon post from last week was from Sue at Sizzling Towards Sixty with 10 lessons we can learn from the RIO Olympics
My featured writer this week is Mad House Mum with Taking Control, a great post on how we have control over how people can affect us. Make sure you grab my featured writer badge.
29 comments
Wonderful post and oh so true. When we are vulnerable, we are present. And when we are present, magic can happen. Thanks for a great post, and a great reminder. M’wah! #mg
oh I love your comment!!!
As always, a fabulous post Mac. I’m naturally a ‘wear my heart on my sleeve’ sort of person so I tend to let myself be vulnerable most of the time. As you know, that tends to be on my love life! I’ve linked up a post about taking some time out of love for a while to focus on making ‘me’ happy. It might take a long time to allow myself to be vulnerable and trust another man again but I’m sure I’ll get there as it’s in my nature to see the best in people. Lots of love Tor xxx
I love that about you, never loose that! I have read your post, I admire you so much xx
Wonderful post! I am the queen at worrying about things that I can not control. I can not stand to feel vulnerable and really only open up with my close friends and family members.
sometimes it is all about baby steps, being vulnerable will change your life for the better if you allow it xx
Love this post and totally agree on many levels. I remember when my daughter was going through a phase of not sleeping as a baby and a good friend said ‘she does not know her mother is a control freak!’ and I often remember that. You are so right, whilst our children are young we make choices for them and do so thinking we are making the correct choice but we have no control over how the outcome will eventually fall and that is terrifying. Thank you for another opportunity to link up 🙂 XX #mg
so true, we often want our babies to fit into how we think it should all be, but yes it is a big reality check when we become a parent isn’t it lol
There are no guarantees in life and that’s the truth. I grew up learning that half the magic is in showing up 🙂 As an adult, I have learned to just focus on enjoying each moment, because who knows what will happen tomorrow? It is so important to celebrate the little things and love our routine. Hugs Mac! Happy to join you today for #mg. 🙂
thanks Vidya so happy you are joining in xx
I agree Mackenzie most of us are too scared to show our true selves because we are afraid people will reject us. It has taken me many years to finally be who I am and stop trying to be what others want me to be. Thanks so much I’m excited I was featured from last week! Have a beautiful day #mg
Yes that is our fear as we all just want to be accepted! It is great when we can let go go inhibitions
I always worry about things I can’t control, crazy really but can’t help it. Lately I’ve been trying hard to stop but it’s so hard. Lovely post, I really enjoy reading and reflecting on what you say! #mg
I used to be so worried about what people thought of me and far what i couldn’t control, it take s a lot to let go of it but you can and it feels amazing xx
What a very true post and your so right most of life is out of our control. We have learnt a lot of lessons from our little one with ASD about we can not control the future but to do everything we can do to help him now and continue with this. Great post #tkinklytuesday
so true, we want so much to somehow control how our children’s future will go, to protect them from any pain, suffering or struggles. If only we could. It is so hard at times being a parent and knowing we can only do so much and keep a positive attitude. Thank you for your comment xxx
Lines which stayed with me “Trying to control everything is exhausting and that is because the only person we have control over is ourselves”
Another great post MG.
oh thank you so much lovely x
Brilliant post! I’m the same, I worry a lot… I worry what my kid’s future holds and that scares me a lot because when they’re bigger I can’t anymore control them like I when they’re little. Love reading your post all the time, so inspiring! #mg
Thank you lovely, yes it is one of the toughest things about being a parent isn’t it!
As always this is a lovely post & beautifully written. It would be nice if we could all keep the vunerablity we’re born with. Babies have no fear of judgement and that would be a lovely way to live! #mg
yes it would, and may be we will never be the way we were but letting go of control can help us live fuller and happier lives xx
This is great. It reminds me of the quote ‘ Be yourself everyone else is taken’. #mg
very true!
HI Mac,
This is a really interesting post and I agree with most of it. Your point about not being able to control outcomes but that we can control our reactions to them is very true. I think it took me a while to learn this.
I am not sure I totally agree with your point about vulnerability. I think we should be able to be vulnerable with close friends and family that we really trust. But unfortunately there are some people in this world who take advantage of vulnerability (my ex is one of them) and exploit it for their own ends…
thanks for this interesting piece though.
Pen x #mg
I totally see what you mean. I just read your post and responded. It took me along time to be vulnerable too, but now I realise that gives people power over me if I stop being who I am if that makes sense?
Once again another unsightful post. Im a natural worrier but a silent worrier. I try not to shate my burdens so others don’t worry but not sharing makes it harder for me #mg
oh gosh I so used to be like that, I protected everyone and it cost me so much personally. Make sure you find someone you can tell everything to, we all need that!
Thank you so much for linking my post up. Sorry for not responding earlier, but I wanted to read this properly – not just a snatched moment in a bar where we have wifi, as I’m on holiday. Your post is really interesting and thought-provoking. You always write on such soul searching topics and make me question my own views – fantastic.
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