Being a mummy sure takes you through a rollercoaster of emotions. It pretty much starts the moment you know baby is on its way. There is a rush of joy that is very quickly followed by OH MY GOSH! Yes it doesn’t take long for us mums to be to begin freaking out, and once they arrive safely there is again a big sense of relief and joy, which you guessed it is quickly followed by NOW WHAT? And HOW DO I PROTECT IT FROM . . . . . . pretty much EVERYTHING?! We all learn quickly that these tiny peeps do not come with a “how to” manual, but they sure do come with an extremely loud cry!
Parenting is stressful, and if you disagree with that please leave me your secret to success in the comment section! When I was pregnant with Aspen I was expecting a lot of things, like to love her, to expect hardly any sleep, and to have my life turned upside down, but I honestly was not prepared for the mummy bear in me to appear! I suddenly felt I had to turn into a warrior woman crossed with super woman, and also add in a little Mother Teresa, Carol Brady and the ability to sing lullabies beautifully whilst holding my eyes open with matchsticks!
What I have learned though is stressing out over every decision I have to make as a parent just doesn’t help anyone, least of all me! So here are my few top tips to chill out more as a mum!
- Stop comparing your child to everyone else’s. Every child is unique, even one sibling to the next! As parents we want to be sure our child is healthy and happy and reaching milestones at the so called ‘correct’ stages. Yes of course there are times to become concerned if certain milestones are not reached, but childhood development happens at very different paces. Aspen walked at 11 months, April walked at 16 months. By 18 months you may want to check with your health nurse or doctor, but most of us start worrying by 13 months and we don’t need too. When it comes to milestones check with your local maternal health nurse so you know what is expected, don’t check with the mum in your mothers group who is being competitive. This doesn’t just end at the baby stage, we compare our child’s abilities at sport, dancing, drawing, public speaking, when they reach puberty and so on. Stop comparing and just enjoy your child’s individuality and let them develop at their own pace!
- Stop trying to keep up. Just because a child you know learns a language, dances 3 nights a week, plays tennis and takes singing lessons doesn’t mean you have to do that with your child. You child will not be denied a great future just because you don’t have the funds, or the time to attend as many activities as another child might. The same goes with holidays or expensive gifts. A child needs our love and attention, they need to learn self-respect and have strong values and morals in order to have a bright future, more than they need to have 100 trophies adorning their walls. Some children will naturally strive for these things and that is great, but don’t force these things on your child purely to keep up with others.
- Stop feeling like you have to explain why you need time for you! You are entitled to some time off. Even when we are away from our kids we are still thinking about them anyway. But we do need time away to refresh and sometimes prevent a tantrum, (ours not theirs). I must confess I used to never take time away, or make time for me, I think I thought I was a bad mum, or that perhaps the world would blow up if I took time for me! I am not saying you have to book a week long holidays at a resort (we can dream), we have to do things at our own pace and feel ok about it. Try to at least take a walk by yourself, go to a movie, go out for lunch with friends, or have a date night. If someone judges you, then they judge you just shake it off! It is their issue not yours. And stop beating yourself up too.
- Stop second guessing yourself. We are learning, we will stumble and make wrong decisions sometimes. But mostly if we are doing things with good intentions and with love in our hearts then we will be ok, and so will our child!
Do you have tips to share?
Being a parent is confusing, overwhelming, messy, crazy and unbelievable beautiful. So my most important tip is Enjoy the ride!
Here are my favourites from this weeks #mummyshot community on Instagram, thanks to everyone who tagged us this week!
If you aren’t following these brilliant Instagramers then pop over and show them some love.
We’d love you to come and join us at #MummyShot too!
my favourite from mummy shot co-host Catie is;
My favourite from my own feed is this one;
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
Don’t forget to stop by and link up with #mg Monday to Thursday each week! And now you can link up with me Thursday through to Saturday for #ablogginggoodtime too!