“Other people’s lives seem better than yours because you’re comparing their director’s cuts with your behind the scenes.” ― Evan Rauch
I think this is a brilliant quote, when I came across it the other day I thought wow I really like this quote. I totally believe that comparing ourselves to others is pointless, and can make us not only judgmental, but also unhappy. So when I saw this quote I just had to share it with you.
I would like to think now I am a grown up (on most levels anyway), that I no longer compare myself to others. Growing up though I was an expert at comparing myself to others, and trying to measure up to what I believe others expectations of me were. Gosh no wonder I was quite lost and lacked that inner sense of peace I craved so much. All I can say is thank goodness there was no social media around when I was an insecure teen.
The truth is though, I had little to be insecure about. I was pretty and popular, and it was easy to pretend I was happy and confident, but inside I felt like a little lost girl. I constantly compared myself to friends, and especially my older sister, and in my mind I never measured up. But of course I couldn’t be measured up against my sister and come out as equal, because the point I was missing is I didn’t have to be like her at all. I just had to be me!
I honestly believed if I was just being me, that no one would really like me. Sure they liked me as the funny, smart, pretty girl, but if they really got to know me, all parts of me, they would surely be disappointed and leave, wouldn’t they?
Turns out no they wouldn’t. Now don’t get me wrong my sister is awesome, she is beautiful, compassionate, and my best friend, but I am not her, and she is not me. In a million ways we are so similar, and in a million more ways we are very different. Just as I look up to her, she looks up to me, we bring out the best in each other. It took me the longest time to stop thinking I didn’t measure up to her, or to the many other people I was comparing myself to. I wasted endless energy trying to live up to what I thought others expected of me, and the truth is comparison will suck the joy right out of you!
It was a deep process of self reflection that led me to finally understand that my uniqueness is what truly makes me amazing. It is what those closest to me love about me. I spent a long time thinking my emotional side was what made me weak, I saw my imagination as a waste of time, I saw my opinions as different and thought I shouldn’t share them, and I saw my vulnerability as a fault, but my goodness I was so wrong!
The things I spent my whole life hating about myself and trying to change are now the things I love most about myself. My emotions, my vulnerability is what makes me compassionate, it is what makes others feel they can come to me and feel supported and understood. It is my imagination that guides my creative writing, that makes me talk in silly voices to my kids, and tell them stories where there are no limits. And as for my opinions that I thought I should never speak of, I realised that these are what make me unique and give me a voice of my very own.
In may was I could say I regret the years I wasted comparing myself to others and holding my true self back, but then again it is the hard times, and the crap we put ourselves through that shaped us into the people we have become. I am perfectly imperfect, and these days I am more than ok with that!
I truly believe when we embrace our so called imperfections, and we we embrace our vulnerabilities, we become stronger and more beautiful with every passing day. What do you believe?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, so please feel free to comment below, tweet, or email me.
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7 comments
My emotions, my vulnerability is what makes me compassionate ..this comes only with wisdom.I too think my imperfections are what make me unique and the source of my creativity .I have a little sister too.Unfortunately, too many people compare this gets ingrained.Not good for siblings.
I think it’s human nature to compare but then that only causes heartburns. I also don’t bother with what is happening with others or compare, have been so since childhood. Of course, being human I do it sometimes but it’s very rare. You made me introspect 🙂
The quote you shared is so perfect. Thanks for this food for thought.
I love that quote you shared! It’s so important to remember this – especially in the age of perfectly curated Instagram feeds and Facebook posts. Comparison truly is the thief of joy.
I think as we get older we do get more comfortable with who we are and more comfortable in our own skin. Society still tells us that we have to be perfect but we learn eventually that we don’t have to be. I’m at that stage of my life as well Mac. I don’t need to compare myself to anyone. In recent years my issues were I was constantly comparing myself to my siblings who all have jobs. They don’t have jobs that they like though and I have always wanted more than that. I have learned to love my creative side and try to make a go of it with that because over the years I have learned that a conventional job just doesn’t do it for me. I still look for those jobs for the income but my passion is my writing. It makes me feel more alive than anything I’ve ever done before. So I stopped comparing. I am happy where I am:)
That quote is just so true. And it is a very comforting thought. I love what you said about being perfectly imperfect – that’s the way we should all think about ourselves. I’ve seen many sibling relationships go bad because of comparisons and competition, which is all so unnecessary.
I love this quote Mac and it is so true. I used to compare myself to just about everyone which only resulted in me feeling very negatively about myself. I think it took me a long time to realise that comparison is so unneccesary to be truly happy I must concentrate on myself and my own strengths, which I am really trying hard to do! #mg
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