This week I did something for myself that I haven’t done in a long while. I went to a guided meditation class. A few years ago I was in a very bad head space. To be honest I felt lost. I was pushing myself through for my children and husband, but inside myself I was feeling at a loss. I was unhappy, but couldn’t figure out why. To say I lacked energy is an understatement, everything felt like it took such an effort.
There was a few things that got me through, a huge part of me finding inner peace was rediscovering my passion for writing.
But it was also meditation, and mindfulness that help guide me through the difficult times.
On a wintertime walk through mist and hills, I stopped and stood silent. In that moment I saw life. I noticed the birds making their homes in the trees, I saw clouds moving and changing form above me. I became mindful of all that was around me, and all I wanted to do was write. I realised that for me without writing, I wasn’t truly breathing. Without writing I would never be at peace. I started writing that day and haven’t stopped since. Through meditation and mindfulness I rediscovered a passion I had long pushed away.
This week when I meditated, I had a moment where I realised that lately I have been forgetting about myself. Forgetting that I matter. I realised that I am hurting inside, that I am feeling a little broken. As I began to meditate I felt a release of silent tears. I knew that I haven’t been a friend to myself lately. That somewhere over the past year I have forgotten to speak to myself with kindness again. Old habits are creeping back. It scares me. I have come so far since that day I walked through the mist, and I am proud of myself for that, and I realise now that I need to step back a little. I need to refocus on caring for myself. I also need to go back to what I love the most, and that is writing my fictional stories.
So if I am a little more quiet for now, it is because I need to be. I am still here, I am just needing a moment to be mindful of what I need in order to stop feeling so broken. I am ok I promise, I just need a little time. And with school holidays coming up here too, I want to make quality time with my family a priority.
For those of you who link up with #mg I apologise, but I will be taking a break. The linky will return come August. Please continue to follow my blog, and schedule in joining in with #mg again in August. In the meantime I will be reading your blogs too.
One thing I talk about a lot here on my blog, and on my Instagram feed is being yourself, being honest and being authentic. So if I want to be honest and authentic I have to admit when I need a little time. It is so important that we recognise the signs of being burnt out, before we get to that point. And that we care enough about ourselves, and those we love to say ‘I need a rest’. And of course in the spirit of being authentic I will now share with you my absolute favourites that were shared with my Instagram Hashtag #livingfearlesslyauthentic this week! (I will continue to feature my favourites each week on Mondays).
These amazing photos of real life were captured by;
Take care, and thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
PS: I would love your advice on my previous post “when did I become the uncool mum?” Please stop by and let me know your thoughts.