What do you do? How many times have you been asked this question when you’ve first met someone? I honestly couldn’t tell you how many times I have been asked, too many. It is part of the way we are programmed, we have a set of questions that we ask that are socially appropriate. Like what do you do, and what is your name? This is fine for the most part, I mean if we are just chatting to someone new we don’t want to dive in with, “so how many relationships have you had?” Um yeah, that probably wouldn’t go down well.
We tend to stick to what is socially acceptable, we don’t wish to offend, and in reality most people we make small talk with (perhaps about the weather), we actually have no desire to get to know further. We don’t have time to be friends with everyone, and some people we will click with, while others we just won’t. But the thing with asking “what do you do” is that we then define that person by their job title which may have a lot less to do with who they actually are as a person. Knowing someone’s job title does not always indicate what they are passionate about, what makes them happy, or what makes them tick.
When one of the first questions we ask is “what do you do“, it is easy to jump to an opinion of that persons interests or personality type.
You may hear;
- accountant ‘boring, or math geek’,
- ‘nurse’ ‘caring’,
- politician ‘liar’,
- judge ‘think they are better than anyone else’
- car sales person ‘manipulator’
- athlete ‘only interested in sport’
When the first thing we know about someone, other than their name, is their occupation it is easy to jump to conclusions, but what if instead of asking ‘what do you do‘, we asked “what do you enjoy doing’?
It may be their job an that would be great, we all want to be passionate about our career, but our career may not represent what we are passionate about, or even what we enjoy. If someone said “I pack shelves at a grocery store’, it may not mean that they are passionate about groceries, but then again it might. If someone says ‘I am a stay at home mum,’ it doesn’t mean all they want to talk about is their children.
So here is a thought, next time you meet someone, maybe ask them what they enjoy, or what they do on weekends, or what they are passionate about. You could find you have more in common than you think, or maybe less. Only one way to find out.
What do you think about this topic? Are you someone who is passionate about your job? I’d love some feedback. Feel free to share your passions in my comment section too.
Thank you for joining me, love Mac xx
Don’t forget to stop by between Mondays and Thursdays to link up with me in my #mg linky.
19 comments
I don’t really know how to answer what do you do with something so clearand to the point, no one seems to get it! Its always followed with oh what does that mean then? Asking those other questions would be a nicer way to get the conversation going so I’ll have to remember those I think! #Sharingthebloglove
As someone who hates this question and used to answer accounts and now answers blogger – both equally as easy to judge I have taught my children that this doesn’t define anyone and that what do you enjoy is the best alternative so I could not agree more. ‘Sharingthebloglove
I couldn’t agree more. Whilst I’m guilty as hell for filling awkward silence with cliche small talk like this, I hate it when I get asked this these days as I never really know what to say. Once upon a time I had so much pride in what I did I’d be happy to tell them all about my career as a woman in science. BUt now? It’s a long story – am I still a scientist if I’m not employed in that sector? A stay at home Mum? A blogger? It really feels as though I’m putting myself out there to be judged…
Great post, so thought provoking. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub
This is so spot on. It’s such an easy question, and it does tell you about what the person does with their days, but it doesn’t give you anything about what makes them tick. I’m an administrator / stay at home mum if you ask me that question. And it’s easy to feel looked down on when you give that answer – in fact, whatever answer you give you feel you’re opening yourself up to judgement. I love the question, “what do you enjoy doing” – the answer is always going to be far more positive, and it seems to show more of a genuine interest somehow. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
I love this! Small talk brings me out in a cold sweat, and I think “what do you do” is the epitome of small talk. I’d much rather cut to a deeper sort of conversation, and “what do you enjoy” is a great doorway to finding out so much more about a person. It’s much more interesting too.
#coolmumclub
You make such a great point here, I’ve never thought about this before! We really do sum up what we think of someone based on what they do. I find it hard to answer that question as a full time mom / blogger – it’s an odd job title LOL Thank you for sharing with us at #BloggerClubUK x
I love the way changing the question can have a positive effect on the person you are asking. I’ve never been passionate about any job, I’ve loved them but I don’t want to talk about them for hours. Now I’m a stay at home mum, I just get the what do you do all day! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
I was asked exactly the same when I went to a doctors appointment last week, I struggled to find an answer to this question, and I was going to write a similar post. I also wrote a post a few months ago titled “Just” a Blogger, and something that I need to do is to remove the word “just” and not put myself down. Being a blogger, student, Mum is a fantastic achievement, and something that we really shouldn’t be ashamed off. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
I think this question does kind of exacerbate this obsession with needing to ‘do’ something worthwhile and that we are what we ‘do’. I always dreaded that question when I was a SAHM, I just felt I didn’t have anything to offer the world. An interesting thought though, definitely worth thinking outside the box with those ice breaker questions!
A really good point, and one I’ve not thought about before really. I think I’m more aware of it now though since I became a SAHM I feel paranoid when people ask “what do you do” and I say I’m “just a SAHM”. #SharingtheBlogLove
Yep, there’s something that connect job with who people are, but we are all much more than that really if we actually look to see. Great post #ablogginggoodtime
I enjoy aspects of my job and think it suits me well but I don’t think it defines me – plus my job isn’t that interesting to most people! I’d much rather talk about my interests in travel, books and podcasts. #ablogginggoodtime
Haha, yep. And answering with “I’m a blogger” is a sure fire way to confuse!! #ablogginggoodtime
I agree with the whole what do you do and stereo typing that person. My OH is an accountant but he so much fun and nothing like what you think and accountant is. Personality is what matters not what career they have #ablogginggoodtime
This is a great topic. I learned some time ago to ask, “how do you spend your time?” from some friends who are therapists. It keeps everyone’s guard down and makes easy segues into any conversation the other person(s) want to head towards, fun, work, volunteering, etc. Too often careers are what we do to pay the bills. So much more about a person can be helpful in those opening moments. #ablogginggoodtime xoxo
I think sometimes we ask this question and then feel ourselves inadequate when they say they are a teacher, lawyer, managing director of … etc. However, they still may enjoy the same things as you it’s true. #ablogginggoodtime
I have started introducing myself as a blogger and that feels weird! #ablogginggoodtime
I’m a blogger but never say that outright as I automatically assume a lot of people wont get that and usually say a freelance writer but more often than not they then ask ooo where which is when I divulge more!
Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime
When I say I’m a freelance journalist & blogger people get the journalism bit but look at me blankly about the blogger bit! #ablogginggoodtime
Comments are closed.