People hurt us, some intentionally, others do so with no awareness. Some people say or do mean things simply to fit in, or to feel accepted. Some people are aware that their words or actions are hurting people, yet others have no concept that what they say or do can affect someone else so deeply. The hardest thing is accepting that those who hurt us may never be sorry because they simply are unable to self reflect enough to see that their actions are so hurtful. Sometimes people are so busy thinking they are the victim that they can not see that they are also causing hurt too. The reality is that we can only control our own actions and our own thoughts. If someone does not see their wrong doing we cannot force them too. It is frustrating, but it is true.
Hanging on to hurt usually ends up causing us the most pain. Yes someone wronged us, said or did something that hurt, but often we watch them move on and get over it whilst we are left with feeling devastated. It seems so unfair. They did the wrong thing and yet we are left to suffer. But it is in these moments where we need to realise that we have the ability to let it go, we have the power to move forward and be happy. Hanging on to anger or sadness does not hurt them, it hurts us. We need to take our power back, we need to acknowledge we were hurt, but that we are strong and we deserve to be happy again.
Hanging on to anger will eat at us, it will make it harder to enjoy each day, it will affect everyone around us we love, and it will rob us of joy, laughter and happiness. We need to let it go! We have to!
When we move forward we are not saying what they did was OK! We are not saying we were not hurt, or that we had no reason to cry or get angry. We are not saying that we were not wronged! We are saying that we deserve to be happy, that we deserve to move forward and create new, healthy and happy memories. We deserve to surround ourselves with people who care about us, we deserve to forgive ourselves for whatever part we may have played, we deserve to feel good about who we are, and we deserve to love and care for ourselves.
Hanging on to anger is like drinking poison each day, and it hurts us and those we love the most! Some hurts will be so much harder to move forward from than others, and I am not saying you have no right to feel hurt, or let down, of course you do! What I am saying is you need to find ways to move forward and love your life again.
- Talk to someone you trust.
- Getting a counsellor can be a huge help as they know the best ways to support you.
- Know you deserve to be happy.
- Do nice things everyday for yourself. Things like a bath, painting your nails, saying nice things to yourself, meditating, getting a massage, enjoying a cup of tea, or visiting a friend.
- Write a gratitude list each day of 1 to 3 things.
- Go to Yoga, or to the gym.
- Take long walks.
- Practice Mindfulness
- Give to others. Volunteer at a nursing home, or a pet shelter.
- Read a great book, or start a new hobby.
Finding ways to enjoy your day again is so important, don’t bottle up your feelings, make sure you talk to someone. Know that just because someone else may never acknowledge they were wrong does not mean that they weren’t wrong. But hanging onto negative feelings only hurts you. Don’t be the victim anymore, take back control over your thoughts and feelings and find ways to be happy again. Sometimes the best thing we can do is let hurt go. You won’t be saying it was OK, you will be saying that you deserve better!
Love who you are and always know you deserve happiness.
You are beautiful and strong, stronger than you know. You deserve happiness and love, when you know that, when you believe in yourself then you will be able to let go of past hurts and embrace a happier future. You are worthy of love and kindness!
Thank you for joining me, love Mackenzie xx