I am your mum,

how lucky am I!

I remember the day you were born just being completely amazed by you. After loosing two babies before you I can not describe the relief I felt that you were actually here, alive and so perfect. I remember they took you off me to check you over and I felt scared, what if I couldn’t do this? I was so overwhelmed, then they handed you back and I was nervous to take hold of you, but then I felt you against me and I was instantly over taken with this rush of love like I had never felt before. You were my fighter, my strong girl, so brave and so beautiful, and I was a mummy, I was your mummy!

If you read my post earlier this week where I was freaking out!!!!! Or if you follow me on Instagram you will know this is the week that the little girl I spoke about above got her braces on. That little girl is now 12 and a half (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?) Well I know how it happened 12.5 years went by, but it went by soooooooooo FAST! I remember the day she was born and the weeks following thinking how amazing it was that I was actually a MUM, and now I am amazed that I am a mum to a 12 year old. Wasn’t it just a couple of years ago I was in high school???? Um no it was a long time ago actually, and I am old enough now to have a 12 year old. 

So here was my week! 

  • I started the week all stressed and overwhelmed, and decided to get it (well most of it) off my chest, which I highly recommend as bottling things up is no good for anyone. So I had my rant and people were so nice and wrote some lovely comments that really made me feel better, and made me feel like less of a crazy self obsessed mummy! Thanks everyone!!!! 
  • After having Adam home from School (again this week) on Monday and Tuesday, he finally went back to school and it was Aspen’s big day! Her appointment was at 12 so I decided to give her the morning off and after dropping my other two cuties off at school, Aspen and I hit the shops! We had the best morning! It is rare that we get time just the two of us so it was lovely to take her out for morning tea and then spoil her with some shopping.
  • The it was appointment time. She coped amazingly well and the staff were so beautiful with her! After it she felt a little weird, but OK. (As they warned us would happen) a few hours later her mouth felt very sore, this upset her as she couldn’t even eat the soft pasta for dinner and so it was an ice-cream dinner that night. It may sound like a child’s dream, but she felt so sad.
  • Loads of hugs and some paracetamol and Advil later she was finally asleep.
  • Next morning was Thursday, I kept her home and hubby was nice enough to take the other 2 to school, so Aspen and I slept in and had loads more hugs and  a few tears. I took her out for Boost Juice, she still couldn’t chew and was little down, but we had a nice time out.
  • Today is Friday, she went back to school today. She was nervous about what people would think and say, but everyone was great, (needless to say mummy is relieved too). Packing her lunch was tricky as she is still struggling to chew. But we managed to put together a smooth lunch for her to take. She is not back to herself yet, but I have no doubt that we are doing the best thing for her future.
  • As for me I am feeling less stressed, I think being a mum is the best thing in the world and also the scariest. Somedays I am so overwhelmed with trying to protect them from things that I can never control and that is hard.

It truly is a harsh reality that all parents face, knowing we can not protect our child from all of life’s hurts. What we can do is be there for them and trust that we are doing the best we can, and that whatever happens we will see them through it. 

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Aspen’s vision board

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How has your week been?

Do you find being a parent has been emotionally harder than you thought?

Love to hear your thoughts, thanks for joining me, love Mac xx


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