So often we compare our lives to those around us, what they are better at than us, what the are worse at than us. Perhaps they have more money, and more possessions we covert, or perhaps they are always so calm and it drives you crazy. Maybe they fight more with their spouse and this makes you feel like you have a superior marriage. We are constantly comparing, and with that, we are constantly judging others, and ourselves.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” says Theodore Roosevelt, and I agree. Comparing ourselves to others can distract us from what we truly want or desire in order to be authentically happy.
With Social Media we are now even more aware of what everyone else has, or atleast the things ‘they want‘ us to see they have. We see couples constantly smiling and looking like they have never had a disagreement in their lives. We see everyone else’s children achieving great sporting feats, we see everyone full of fun and laughter, and children creating brilliant crafts. I am guilty of this, I see images of parents crafting with their children and think “gosh I am a shit mum, I never let my kids craft enough‘! But then again I am also guilty of posting pretty Instagram pics that would make my life seem like I live in tranquility.
Then on the flip side we have the Facebooker’s who seem to only complain about everything, they have annoying neighbours, their local council can do no right, in fact everyone they know seems to be a total dickhead. And so we look at their lives compared to ours and think “wow, my life is pretty good after all!”
I am the first to put up my hand and say that I only post pretty, and happy images on my Instagram feed, but I am also the first to admit that my life isn’t always pretty and happy. For the most part my life is great, and I am happy, but there are times that I am in terrible pain, times where I am incredibly anxious, times where I am angry at myself, and many times where my ironing pile is about the hit the roof!
Comparing ourselves to others is dangerous, because we can never fully know what is truly going on in anyone else’s life, or minds. We are comparing ourselves purely by our own perception of someone else’s life. We think because someone has more money they are happier, or because someone goes away on holidays all the time, they are happier. We think that people who struggle financially must be miserable. One of the things that stood out to me when I was in Vanuatu was how happy the children were, they had so little, yet their smiles and laughter were infectious. I know they have struggles, and I know they are not always smiling and laughing, but they didn’t care that they didn’t have iPads, or Play Stations, because they weren’t comparing themselves to what other’s have. The ocean to swim in, the trees to climb, the balls to play with, the friends they had made them happy.
One of the hardest times in my life happened to me when I lived in the biggest house I’ve lived in, and drove the most expensive car I’ve ever had. Because those things were not the things I needed in order to be happy. The possessions I had were never going to give me what I needed in order to heal. Money can make life easier, it can provide important things like a safe place to live, nutritious food, and good health care there is no denying that. But the possessions, and lives we are often jealous of, will never be the things we need to make us truly happy. They are a temporary fix, a temporary high, but that high won’t last. I think deep down we all know that.
When we learn to let go of comparison and start to look within ourselves to find what we need in order to be happy, we give ourselves the greatest gift. If you are truly seeking a happy, more fulfilled life then you need to stop worrying about what others have. You need to look at what things make you happy, what things bring you inner peace, what things inspire you, or fill you with joy. You need to be brave enough to live your own truth! Let go of the need for more, and more possessions, stop counting your so called Facebook Friends, stop trying to be like anyone else, and allow yourself to live your own authentic truth.
“if life isn’t making you happy,
just try being yourself”
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic, please share them below in my comments section. xx
And how beautiful are these following photographs!
Thanks to everyone who joins in my Instagram Community, I absolutely love seeing your wonderful photographs.
And now it is #mg time!
Welcome to the #mg Link up. Please make sure you check out the two featured posts below and show them some blogging love by tweeting their posts, thank you.
The most popular post this week was from Queen Of Collage with “what books are in the girls Easter baskets this year?’ Make sure if you haven’t read it stop by and share the love.
My personal Favourite was from The Stented Papa, with “Our Wedding”, this is a must read, it made me smile, the love in this post is so beautiful.
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