Is the key to happiness actually found in stuffing up, making mistakes, and loosing your way?

How could it be, I mean surely if you’re lost then you’re pretty screwed, right? How can making mistakes be a good thing? Can loosing your way turn out to be the way forward? 

Simply put, we loose our way for a reason. Just like when we are heading somewhere in a car, or walking a track and we don’t pay attention to the signs, we get lost. We suddenly find ourselves somewhere we didn’t mean to be, and if we keep going we can become so lost that we are afraid to even try to find our way back out in case we end up getting even more lost. Sometimes the darkness sets in and we find ourselves alone and affriad, we become stuck, gripped with fear or indecision, unable to find our way out of the darkness. 

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Life is no exception, if we don’t pay attention to the signs, or if we simply ignore them then we have a good chance of getting lost!

At times the signs in life are pretty obvious, we have a clear view of the road up ahead and we know when a track looks dangerous or too risky to take. We get that “gut reaction” to a person or a situation, and we instinctively know that something or someone is wrong for us. We steer clear and we move on. Other times we way up a risk, a path may look a little steep, but we are pretty sure if we risk it or take a chance that the view up the top of that path is going to be pretty great and so we take a calculated risk and it pays off. It wasn’t the safest path, but our “gut” or our “intuition” told us that it was a risk worth taking.

But at times we meet someone or get ourselves into a situation that initially feels OK, the path looks safe enough, it’s all pretty and new and exciting, but as we get further down it suddenly gets a bit rocky and then really narrow, it starts to get darker, but we keep going in the hope that our initial feeling was right. We tell ourselves “it will be OK, I just have to keep going and somehow it will work out, it’s not that bad”. So we go deeper and further until we find we are completely lost, or perhaps we find ourselves at the edge of a cliff feeling like we have nowhere to go, wondering if we jump will there be a safety net? We wonder how we missed the signs? Why did we not notice the danger? Why did we not turn back sooner?

The signs are always there, in hindsight we very rarely look back and say “there were no signs“. When a relationship breaks down or even turns nasty or dangerous we can look back later and see that there was a buildup. It may have started with the smallest sign, but gradually the signs become more obvious yet somehow we still missed them. If you find yourself in this situation don’t be too hard on yourself. It happens all the time, usually because the change doesn’t happen quickly, it happens over a long period of time so the signs are easy to miss.

Again I will use the path analogy, if you are walking down the road and you notice a bright new path that looks like what you have been waiting to find then you take it, as you should, it could turn out to be great. As you head down it you see beautiful flowers and hear the tricking stream, it’s lovely. As you move further the stream becomes a gorgeous waterfall and the trees are filled with birds, there is one prickle on the path, but it’s small and you step over it. Gradually the path has a few more prickles, you step over those too, barely noticing them because you are enjoying the birds and flowers. Suddenly a prickle brushes against your leg, it hurts a little, but a beautiful bush appears almost as if saying it’s sorry for what the prickle did, so you keep going. The next prickle hurts more, but then a field of beautiful flowers appear in front of you, so again you ignore the pain of the prickle and continue forward. I think you get my point? Eventually when the path is full of prickles and only a few flowers remain you wonder “how did I get here”? The path lures you, and suddenly you find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in.

Some paths in life turn out to be as amazing as they first appeared, or unexpectedly they turn out so much better than you imagined. But other’s don’t. Unless you take them you will never know. Risk is good, we need to take risks. If we don’t we end up like a stagnant pond, we can not be happy if we stand too still. Life is meant to be experienced and explored.

With life experience our intuition grows, we learn to listen and pay attention to that “gut feeling“. But at times we make the mistake of not listening to our gut. If we are tired, run down, or don’t love or respect ourselves we are more likely to ignore our intuition. Many times in my life I have missed the signs, and like I said earlier in hindsight I can see where they were. But that’s OK, hindsight is actually a beautiful gift, it gives us the ability to learn from the mistakes we made, it helps us grow. When we find ourselves on another path later on we are sharper, we are quicker to notice the signs and steer ourselves in a better direction. 

Making mistakes helps us grow, it strengthens us, it empowers us, it teaches us how to live better. In order to learn we need to accept that we will make mistakes. Some lessons are small, others are huge! If we allow ourselves to embrace mistakes, accept them, and learn from them, then we are setting ourselves up for success. 

The beauty in life is that there is always a safety net, there will be someone there to help you. If you find yourself lost, or standing on that cliff there is someone who you can talk to, or who can help guide you out of the darkness. 

  • Start by telling yourself it is OK to make mistakes.

 

  • Taking risks is part of life, it will help you learn.

 

  • Listen to your gut!

 

  • Sop regularly along a path and reevaluate the situation, is it safe to continue? Should you turn back? Should you go a different way? Should you seek guidance?

 

  • It is never too late to change your mind. If a situation makes you highly uncomfortable in a bad way, then discontinue and reevaluate.

 

  • If you are in dangerous situation talk to someone you trust, seek professional help if you need to, there is no shame in admitting you need help or guidance EVER!

 

  • Learn from mistakes. If you don’t see mistakes as your enemy, but rather see them as a teacher then you can learn so much from them.

 

  • If you feel lost, reach out, seek guidance from a boss, colleague, friend, a doctor, counsellor, lawyer, parent or your partner.

 

  • Don’t feel ashamed to tell the truth, we all make mistakes.

 

  • Don’t try and cover up mistakes with lies, lies build up and lead to more mistakes.

 

  • Know that you deserve happiness.

 

  • Believe in your ability to overcome life’s challenges.

 

  • Mistakes are an opportunity to grow.

 

  • Know that you deserve to be happy!

 

We all find ourselves lost at times, we feel we failed or let ourselves, or others down. But mistakes are natural and we need to see them as an opportunity to learn rather than a failure. Mistakes help us grow, just as when we are a child and we learn to walk, we stumble, we fall, we try to go too fast and fall again, but we learn. As adults we will stumble, we will fall, but we need to learn from those mistakes. Believing we are worthy of happiness, success and love will help us to stay strong, we are all worthy of good things and if we remember that then we will continue to learn and grow.

Mistakes build up our intuition, they strengthen our gut, so next time you find yourself making a mistake step back, look at why it occurred, learn from it, forgive yourself for missing any possible signs, and then move forward with strength and self love. Mistakes can help us find out what we really need to make ourselves happy!

Do you have any tips to share, or advice on this topic? Maybe an experience you wish to share? Leave me a note in the comments and I will get back to you.

Than you for joining me, love Mackenzie xx

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