Are you ok? It is ok to say you are not. In fact saying you are not ok can be a good thing, why? If you are not ok it can be healthy to recognise it and go that step further in admitting it to yourself and hopefully to others around you. We often feel the pressure to just answer “I’m fine,” or “all good thanks”! At times it isn’t even that we feel the pressure to say we are ok, we just say it as if we are on auto pilot.

So today is, Are You OK Day, and I think it is such an important topic to talk about! So here I am talking about it and asking you “are you ok?”

Sometimes it is just as important to ask ourselves this question and be honest with ourselves. With Covid-19 we can say a lot of us are not as OK as we wish we were. There is no denying 2020 has thrown us a curve ball, and for some of us it has caused severe devastation! Not to mention the year kicked off in this country with shocking bushfires which people hadn’t recovered from and then into lockdown we went. In Victoria we are very much still in lockdown. Yet in so many ways we are lucky in this country comapred to many others. With news feeds, fear, and a lot of confusion mental illness has been on the rise, and what really breaks my heart is that domestic abuse within families has also drastically increased. More than ever we need to be asking people if they are OK?

Pexels. photographer Sofia Grazer

It is more than just a simple question though, it is following through if someone does open up. I personally recommend that we all get familiar with where people can go to for help, hotlines to call, or safe havens to go to if they are in danger. Even if we do not need these ourselves it can mean the difference of saying to someone “I just don’t know how to help”, to “I know someone you can call,” or “I know of a place that can help you find emergency accomodation.”

We may never be sure what to say to someone if someone does open up, there is no one perfect thing to say, we can’t magically fix people, but we can listen! Just listening can make the world of difference. People going through hardship do not want you to just come on in and try to solve everything, they need to be heard, to be shown compassion and kindness. First and foremost just listen! Then gently you can suggest where they could seek help, or mention you have read about a great organisation. They may not want to act upon that and that is their decision, but even if they walk away they are more empowered because they now have more options and have gotten things off their mind.

pixels, Lisa Fotios

When we lock up our feelings, push them down and try to bury them they fester, they become more and more toxic to us and can even manifest in physical pain. Stress can cause back pain, stomach upsets/pain, bad dreams, headaches, hormonal changes and constant bouts of nausea. So just being that someone who is willing to listen or ask ‘are you ok,” can make a massive difference!

Some of the difficulties can be knowing what to say or how to handle the answer if the person you are asking isn’t ok, here is a link to How to ask are you Ok and it includes role plays on how to handle the conversation.

Here are some tips from the from the RUOK Website about how to listen;

  • Take what they say seriously and don’t interrupt or rush the conversation.
  • Don’t judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge that things seem tough for them.
  • If they need time to think, sit patiently with the silence.
  • Encourage them to explain: “How are you feeling about that?” or “How long have you felt that way?”
  • Show that you’ve listened by repeating back what you’ve heard (in your own words) and ask if you have understood them properly. 

If you don’t feel you are doing ok, know that it is a good thing to open up to someone you feel safe with. Letting fear, loneliness, or sadness build up will only cause to worsen how you are feeling.

When I had to open up for the first time about my anxiety I was so scared of being judged! I felt like no-one would really understand and my worst fear wasn’t actually about myself. My biggest fear was people would judge our family, that they may not want their children to play with mine, but my anxiety was at a point that playing ‘happy’ was no longer an option. I opened up and found that I was far from alone, other parents and friends started opening up about what they were going through, or had been through in their lives.

I think so often we worry about other peoples judgements and we think we know what they will be, however we are often letting our stress, anxiety, or insecurities affect how we are seeing things. The truth is there are not many people who haven’t suffered some form of trauma or pain in their lifetime. Most people do understand what it is like to not be OK.

Image via Pexels Photographer Disha Sheta

So I encourage you to message a friend, set up a Zoom, if you are not in lockdown go check in on a friend, make them a meal, send a hadn’t written letter, tell someone you care. Check in with the elderly, check in with your kids and check in with yourself! Even the people we think are always ok can be faking it. It costs nothing to ask ‘are you ok?’ So please ask.

Sending love and light, Kylie xx Follow me on instagram @pretty_little_squares_ or my business instagram account @soulandmoonlight

If you found this post helpful you may like to read What The Funk?

Need some extra support? Feel like you are looking for more direction in your life? Maybe you are feeling like it is time for a change? This is where Oracle and Tarot can help. Feel free to Email me kylie@soulandmoonlight.com to see if a reading is for you? Or perhaps you may enjoy pampering yourself with my crystal candles, divine Vegan soaps or some stunning crystals. Find me on insta @soulandmoonlight