why the pursuit of money is not the pursuit of happiness

Have you ever felt like you are living out of alignment with yourself? Have you ever had the feeling that there is something missing and can’t quite put words to it? Have you ever felt like you want to get up and shake your tail feathers, but are afraid of the judgement from others if you do?

If you are still reading this then I am guessing you are thinking one of two things, what is she talking about? Or YES I can totally relate? If it is either of these trust me you won’t be alone, but if it is the second then I can tell you I used to feel exactly that way!

When we are little we are like little sponges soaking up so much information and learning how we are expected to act in this world in order to get approval and praise, but there is also part of us that is super in touch with who we are at our core. We happily talked with fairies, hugged trees, rolled down hills, ran around with bare feet connecting our bodies to nature, we had endless curiosity and didn’t care about what we looked like, or even if we were naked. We were free to be us, for that short precious time we were so close to our soul self.

Gradually the world got louder, we had to learn to fit in to other peoples schedules and behave in a way that didn’t embarrass anyone. We learnt what behaviour was rewarded and what behaviour was punished. We also learnt what behaviour allowed us to fit in, and what behaviour caused people to make fun of us.

Talking to flowers and hugging trees is cute at age 4, at age fifteen people are wondering who the strange girl is, and at age 40… well people begin to think she’s either weird, or needs therapy.

We learn to hide, or even deny parts of ourselves and not just to others, but to ourselves. Some of us are lucky to hang onto soul self, but others, (just like I did), begin to accept the mainstream rules. We begin to stop questioning things that don’t feel right, and just learn that we have to follow the rules if we are going to be a ‘good’ girl, or boy.

Our parents taught us we had to be ‘good‘, (whatever good means?) Keep our clothes clean, sit quietly, do good at school, use our manners, don’t do anything to embarrass the family, and so on. I am not saying that means we had bad childhoods, or that our parents deserve any blame, the truth is they were doing what they had been taught. They were behaving as society told them to behave. They were being ‘good’ parents by making sure we acted like ‘good’ children. They wanted the best future for us and they were told the best future meant making sure we went to the best schools, so we could get the best education for which the ultimate goal was us getting a high paid job.

For many generations the ultimate goal of happiness has been presented as money/material based happiness. Parents have been taught that they did a great job parenting if their children become wealthy. There has been so much emphasis on owning the best house with all the latest gadgets, driving a nice car and wearing clothes that proudly display a brand name. The problem is that even if we achieve that, we are soon feeling bored by it and decide we need a bigger house, another outfit, or handbag and the vicious cycle continues.

It is never enough, we never have enough and someone always has more, so we keep searching and becoming more dissatisfied and empty.

So why were the generations before us taught this was what happiness means? Well I could write a whole novel on that, but the short of it is because that is what advertising companies are paid the big money to make us believe. Companies spend astronomical amounts of money on advertising (brainwashing us), and it works, they are great at what they do.

Imagine a world where we were taught that money is important to help give us shelter and keep us healthy, but there are so many other parts of our lives that matter just as much if we are going to be healthy from a holistic point of view?

I have touched on this in previous posts where I talked about relationships falling apart because of people working long hours to pay for the fancy things that aren’t even making them happy, or people developing mental illness due to lack of sleep, worrying about work deadlines, paying bills and having too much on their plate. So many people are getting sick physically and mentally due to our obsession with having to these homes that we don’t even have the time to enjoy! Kids are getting sick because the pressure to get top marks, whilst also going to tutoring, sport, music lessons and keep up with all the latest social media trends. We need to remember that there are so many parts of life that matter as much as carrier and money.

The good news is people are slowly becoming more aware of of the need for work life balance.

There is no doubt that we are at a pivotal moment in history where we can break the chains of the past, and change they way future generations will be parented.

I believe that we whilst money in our society is important for maintaining a certain level of comfort and of course health care, if we can also focus more on the other areas that I consider key, we will have less need to seek health care in the first place.

Let’s relearn to prioritise and lead the future generations into a future where they will be more aligned with their soul self.

I will list some key areas I believe we need to focus on in order to live a healthy and balanced life where we feel fulfilled, happier and in alignment. These are in no particular order and that is for a reason. All these areas are equal, they all matter.

1. Emotional life. We need to be in touch with our emotions and know that having a variety of emotions is normal and healthy. We need to know it is ok to express our emotions, that if we cry we are not weak, if we are happy we are not showing off. We need to understand at times we will experience anger and that it is ok to do so, once we know it is ok we no longer suppress our emotions allowing them to explode in ways that are harmful to ourselves or others. Dealing with emotional health on a constant basis means we are less likely to let our emotions get to a point where we are overwhelmed.
2. Intellectual life. We need things that stimulate our mind. We are naturally curious and discovering things we are interested in can be so much fun. Explore new hobbies, or find people who intellectually stimulate you in conversations. This helps keep our minds fresh and life becomes more fulfilling.
3. Career. Choose a career path that you are actually interested in. When we follow a career path mapped out by our parents, or by what society thinks are the best jobs is only going to lead to burnout and job dissatisfaction.
4. Financial life. Yes we need money in this society. In many ways I wish we still parted and shared our talents, but we live in an eco driven society. Money is essential to feed ourselves, for shelter and for some of the fun activities or holidays we hope to experience. However, if you let money make all your decisions you will end up pretty miserable and often feeling very alone. Make enough to feel secure, save for a rainy day, but do not think you need the latest of everything especially if it is to prove to others you are successful. Money and Success in life are two very different things that somehow we managed to be convinced were the same thing.
5. Who you are. If you get asked who you are you will most likely say your name and what you do for a job. That is not you! It is not the essence of you. Think about this question, how do you want people to see you? Are you living in a way that aligns with that? And just double check f what you wrote down first was really how you want people to se you, the real you?
6. Social life. Human contact is so important to our mental wellbeing. Never before has that been more obvious than in 2020. Find your tribe, spend time with people who accept you for who you actually are. Don’t surround yourself with people who make you feel inadequate, or our of alignment. It is not worth it. Social life is meant to be enjoyable so don’t waste it with people who are superficial.
7. Love. We all need to feel loved and accepted, but we can not feel that to the full extent until we love ourselves. Yes you may have heard this before, but it is so true. Work on your relationship with yourself. Stop talking to yourself like you would an enemy. Fill your heart with love and light and let others see that. Treat yourself to a lovely bath, or a warm cuppa and a good book. Rediscover your passions and your love for yourself.
8. Spirituality. Whether you consider this as religion is up to you. I consider spirituality as being open to knowing we are not completely alone. I believe the universe has our back and that we incarnated into this lifetime to help heal the world and ourselves. No matter what you believe it ca really help to add some spirituality into your life. Gaze at the stars, marvel at nature, spend time in the ocean, or fo camping. To me nature is a spiritual experience.

Gaze at the stars, you are part of this amazing universe. You are star dust, you are light and you are beautiful!

There are so many parts of our lives we often ignore in our pursuit of the wrong type of happiness. The happiness society and the big companies have spoon fed us to believe. I invite you to reassess, go out and find your own reason for being, and your own meaning of true happiness!

We are the change and the time is now, we need more self love, more compassion for others, more kindness and less showy possessions that leave us empty. Let’s be the generation that teachers our children that happiness is not found in possessions, but within themselves!

Take a moment to remember the little curious child you were, let her/him know you are still here and that you haven’t forgotten what you came here for! Open you heart to magical possibilities.

The pursuit of money is not the pursuit of happiness. The pursuit of true happiness lies deeper within yourself, ask your child self, what happiness actually looks like for you. Then get ready to start a shaking your tail feathers into wonderful new adventure!

Light and love, Kylie

Thank you so much for reading, in case you haven’t noticed over on Instagram @pretty_little_squares_ I have announced that I have started a business! I will be launching my website by the end of this month. You can discover more @soulandmoonlight on insta. I am looking forward to sharing my new adventure with all of you xx

My SMALL BUSINESS Soul and Moonlight is now open. My website is www.soulandmoonlight.com I offer intuitive channelled messages and readings and sell crystals, candles, chakra roll on, alignment remedies, vegan soaps, bath soaks and body scrubs as well as oils for creating change and helping with mindful living. I offer Zoom readings internationally too.

Main Image by Matheus Bertelli