it is ok to start small

I feel like a tiny insignificant particle of dust upon the Earth, one person, just a woman with little influence, what do I matter? What can I have to say that anyone would bother to pay attention to? Along with that attitude I mix in some regret, self loathing, and a big dose of insecurity. I can not count the amount of times I have sat at my laptop and typed blog posts since Covid began, and then deleted them because who am I to offer opinions or advice? One person, one voice.

It is well known that during Covid it hasn’t just been the virus itself that has had devastating affects on peoples lives. The loss of lives, unmarked graves, too many to help, is just the beginning. Missing loved ones, families torn apart, governments fighting, unemployment rates rising, inadequate health care and lack of equipment, businesses folding, domestic violence and child abuse sky rocketing, this is like nothing we have ever lived through, mental health is hard to hang on to in these desperate times!

We watch on in fear for those we love, and watching the cruel injustices of low economic groups and those who do not have white skin being the hardest hit. It is not Covid-19 that discriminates though, it’s the people! It is ignorance!

When I first starting hearing the statistics of death rates of white skinned people compared with black skinned people I was taken aback, there it was in writing, there was no denying that the long term affects of the injustices and cruelty that humans placed upon one another was undeniable!

I was not surprised by outrage that those with black skin have felt and continue to feel, this wasn’t about one mans murder, this was about cruelty, injustice, racism, and ignorance that has gone on forever in our history.

I live in Australia, I have white skin, I have a home, a family, health care, and I consider myself to be open minded, I am someone who loves learning new things, I love being challenged intellectually and am open to others points of view, however I never knew that ‘white privilege‘ truly existed. I, and I would think so many others thought that simply by not being racist that I was a good person. Well I am being educated, because I never truly understood before that being born white was something that made life easier for me. I now wonder how I could have been so naive.

I hesitate to write about this simply because I feel so inadequate, because I feel I have so little to offer, but then saying nothing makes me feel sick! It makes me feel like I am saying I am not important so what is the point! Well there is a point, I may have one voice, but I have hundreds of subscribers to my blog and many followers on social media, and if my voice can be heard by even a few of you then it is better than me just sitting in silence hating myself!

So I am writing today to say that I acknowledge my white privilege, that although I have known hardship, that I have faced discrimination for being a female, that I have been treated like a sex object by some men that think women are put on the earth for them to grope and intimidate, and I have faced some discrimination due to mental health issues I have, however and very importantly I have never known what it like to be discriminated against because of my race, culture or skin colour! That is a privilege! I don’t have to be afraid that my children will be judged by the colour of their skin! I wish we lived in a world where being white wasn’t seen as a privilege, where black or white we were considered equal, but it is not the case! To say it is, is not acknowledging that as a white skinned person we have it easier in life.

I want to live in a world where colour, sexual preference, gender doesn’t make a difference to how we are seen, or judged! It is idealistic and we are never going to get to a world like that until we admit there is a problem. Until we admit we are all part of the problem.

Sometimes I still cannot believe that slavery, the stolen generation, imprisonments for being gay, being unable to vote, being robbed of land and rights all these things have happened so recently in our history, and many are still happening. It honestly amazes me, disgusts me, how as humans can we not see others as equal, as humans just as we are simply based on sexual preference, or race?

I am no expert on these issues, but if I can say something that you will hear, then I beg you to hear this! Educate yourself, listen to your inner soul, look at our history and realise that we can all make a difference, we can all be capable of change. We all have a platform, mine is here, and social media and perhaps most importantly as a mum and what I teach my children and how I lead by example.

I can not keep sitting on my hands because I feel insignificant, it is a weak excuse for not speaking up! Covid-19 has made us stop and take stock of what is important, and it has highlighted the ugliness of out human past. We have to make a change, we have to acknowledge our personal privileges and begin the uncomfortable conversations. Ask yourself what can you do better? What personal prejudices do you hold on to? Read the true stories of injustice, read the true stories of the past, not the ones that tie history up in a pretty bow, the real truth! Use your voice, your vote to make positive changes, use your platforms to educate others. I encourage you to educate yourself.

If you are a parent have a real conversation with your children, if you are a daughter, or a son have a real conversation with your parents. If you are a boss check if your hiring history has been prejudice. Look at yourself in the mirror, ask yourself the real questions, what choices have you made due to old fashioned beliefs or judgements? I am not saying hate yourself for making mistakes, I am asking you to educate yourself. I am asking you to love yourself!

The biggest change we can make is learning to love ourselves, because we can not truly love others until we learn to love and forgive ourselves. The biggest difference we can make isn’t protesting, its starting from within. Once we educate ourselves, and learn to love ourselves we can send love into the world, we can become more compassionate and lead by example. When we show kindness to others it spreads, kindness, compassion, empathy, love and light spread. Just as COVID-19 is spread from one person to many others and then many more so is love! Imagine if we can love ourselves and then love others and that can spread across nations, wouldn’t that be awesome! Each one of us has that potential, we are each more powerful and influential than we know.

Imagine if we can love ourselves and then love others and that can spread across Nations, wouldn’t that be awesome! Each one of us has that potential, we are each more powerful and influential than we know.

So today I am asking you to do something kind to yourself, I am asking you to begin to forgive yourself for anything you are having trouble letting go of. Over the following weeks focus on your healing, and begin to educate yourself, look at what you may have been doing that contributes to an unjust society. Do not be mad at yourself, understand that you didn’t know better and love yourself! Gradually as you work on self love, begin to share that love with others, and watch as the love spreads. We can make a difference.

Over the past weeks I have been working on forgiving myself more, on opening up my soul so that I can send love and kindness to those who need it most even if it has been a person who wronged me, or others. I have found myself feeling lighter as I let go of hate and frustration. I have a long way to go, I think most of us do. It is ok to start small, it’s not about big grand gestures, it is about learning to start with our own soul and baby steps are just fine.

You deserve love, you are LOVE.

Take care, stay safe, and know I am sending you love.

Love, Kylie