My daughter will be 12 in a couple of months and is in her last year of primary school. When it comes to life she is pretty naive which is a good thing in many ways, she has been lucky enough to have a great childhood, I know a lot of children are not so lucky. I guess in many ways I have kept her young at heart too. Maybe not everyone will agree but I have sheltered her from a lot of the ‘bad’ things that go on in the world. We don’t watch the news in front of her. Don’t get me wrong she knows about War and refugees, she knows we live in a country that is very fortunate. Her school does a lot for the community and she is even community service captain for her school. She saves her money to donate to the homeless and gives her money to charities for endangered animals. In fact she was given spending money the other week to use at the Melbourne Moomba Festival and instead she saw a homeless girl on the street and gave all her spending money to her.
I think having 2 younger siblings has keep her young too. When other girls were watching High School Musical years back, she was watching Peppa Pig. When her friends started wearing a touch of eye-shadow or lip gloss to a party, she thought it was weird. But my little girl is growing up all of a sudden. Last week she came in and flopped on my bed looking all stressed out! She has suddenly discovered that there is such a thing as ‘fashion’ and has started feeling the need to ‘fit in’! I shouldn’t have been surprised, I mean it had to happen one day, right? But I guess I wasn’t prepared.
Everything is so dramatic at 11 (almost 12). We actually had a great talk and she came back to me later and said that she didn’t want to be like everyone else, that she is happy being who she is, I was so proud of her!. But still I understand her need to ‘fit in’. I think we all go through it and often we always feel like that even when we are grown up. I think to a (healthy) degree it is normal. We are pack animals really, and we crave others company and let’s face it, it is nice to be liked (as long as it is for who we are) and to be part of a group.
I think it is important to understand the difference of wanting to fit in, which is normal, but not trying to be something you are not in order to fit in! We all need to embrace our uniqueness and celebrate what we bring into a group because of who we are, (not who we are trying to be.)
I love this quote;
Click to Tweet: “Why fit in when you were born to STAND OUT” -Dr. Seuss
So this weekend gone we had our first ‘grown up girl’ outing. We met 2 of her friends out at the shopping centre, and let the girls sit at their own table whilst we sat far enough away to give them (and us) privacy. We then escorted them to shops whilst they tried things on and compared outfits, we stood back watching and observing from a healthy distance. I had never seen my daughter like this, it was very new for me. She looked like a fish out of water compared to her BFF who has a nearly 15 year old sister. Her friend knew all the fashion tips. They were very cute, but it really made me realise that my baby girl is growing up. And whether or not I am prepared for it, it is happening anyway.
The girls had a sleepover on Saturday night and when I arrived Sunday it was cute to see her and her friends riding bikes likes kids do, up the street and having fun. As we were packing up her things we packed up her teddy bears and I looked at my friend and said “I guess she is still young enough to have to sleep with her teddy bears”. I will worry more when I pack her up for a sleepover one day and she leaves her Teddy Bears behind. But it made me realise that for now I will cherish her innocence and her love for stuffed toys!
This weekend gone was also my son Adam’s grading for Taekwondo and he receive his green belt and even passed with a Distinction for best in his group. When he came back off the mat though he didn’t seem himself. By the time we got home he was asleep and feeling terrible. He missed the Easter Egg hunt with his cousins as he was burning up and so sleepy. He is still home sick today, poor little man. But hopefully better soon, so our weekend finished with loads of cuddles and a little person sleeping between mummy and daddy for the last couple of nights.
How was your weekend? Any advice on how to deal with an almost teenager?
I was meant to publish this yesterday, but time got away from me and last night I went to a talk with Steve Biddulph about Raising Girls, I will have to share more of this with all of you at some point, but if you get the chance to ever see him talk you should. It was actually interesting timing given what I have been experiencing with Aspen. Adam was still ill again this morning and after complaining his ear is now sore we took him to the doctor. He has an ear infection and enlarged tonsils poor little chap.
Are you following me on Instagram yet? Come find me @macglanville Here are a few images I posted on Instagram this week.
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
Want to join my linky? Head over now to my #mg post for this week Are you hungry for a better life?
13 comments
The transition from primary to secondary school is a big one. The expectations the schools have in terms of work, conduct etc are very different! The Tubblet took awhile to adjust and is doing okay now.
It’s weird though, as one day they’re so small and the next the they’re off to really big school! Wishing you all the luck
I’m afraid I don’t have much advice on the almost-teenager. I always remember feeling embarrassed by everything at that age – it’s tough because you want her to be herself, but you don’t want her to be left out… Although, to be honest, I never really fitted in until college, where I found a group of similar-minded friends.
I hope your son is feeling better!
Thanks for linking up to #MyWildOnes xx
yes that is the dilemma wanting her to fit in yet wanting her to be herself, thanks for the comment xx
My daughter is at the same stage as yours and I would have to say that she has led a relatively sheltered life too. She is not a girly girl at all (never was!) and prefers to run around in her sports clothes and trainers. Every now and again she will paint her nails but it doesn’t last more than 2 hours before she’s picking it off again. She also has a stuffed toy that has definitely seen better days but this ‘creature’ still goes on holidays, etc (most well-travelled stuffed toy ever!). Hope your sone feels better soon! Thank you for posting this…#stayclassy
What a lovely post about your daughter and son. I’m sorry he is feeling ill, hopefully he is feeling better now? Unfortunately, I do not have any advice as I’m still fairly new Mum, however I do remember being 12 years old and wishing I was older because I thought everything would be so much better at age 15, haha totally wrong! I was innocent until about 14/15, so I think you still have a couple years. ; ) It sounds like you have a really good relationship with your daughter. I love the picture of your son, really sweet. Thanks for linking up with #StayClassy!
No advice on dealing with a nearly teenager I’m afraid. But I enjoyed reading your post very much. I love this from you:
“I think it is important to understand the difference of wanting to fit in, which is normal, but not trying to be something you are not in order to fit in! We all need to embrace our uniqueness and celebrate what we bring into a group because of who we are, (not who we are trying to be.)”
Such a perfect way of expressing teenagers feelings at that difficult time of transition – and let’s face it’s relevant to many adults too!
It sounds like you have amazing relationship with your daughter and she is lucky to have your care and guidance.
It’s scary how quickly the time goes isn’t it though? I’m writing this with a newborn baby girl strapped to my chest and just thinking, goodness – soon I’ll blink and this will be me!
I would love to hear your feedback on Steve Biddulph. My brother went to see him speak and recommended his book to me – The Complete Secrets of Happy Children. I am not one for parenting books in general, I think you can have too much info sometimes if you know what I mean, but I would say this book is a must read for any parent. I even look back and reread chapters! Look forward to hearing your thoughts on his talk. xx
I so agree with your quote but I think it is harder for our children to stand out when following the flock is what everyone else does. I have a teen (who does do his own thing) and a near teen who follows the crowd. #Pointshoot
Annie loves all things girly, she spent her pocket money on ‘accessories’ instead of toys for the first time this month, something I didn’t expect at age 6!
It’s so hard and yet so beautiful to see them transform to the next phase. And yes, I agree, keep them innocent as long as possible.
I was just speaking yesterday to some folks at a school board/staff dinner at how very please I am that my oldest is still very young, sweet and naive (all in a good way). I worry so about those next steps in this world that is not so nice…Great post. Thank you!
Thank you, yes we do worry, if only we could protect them xx
This is a lovely post. Keep them young and reasonably naive I say! No need to grow up too soon #fabfridaypost
Having still got pre-school kiddies, I am afraid I dont have any advice. Although I do feel like kids are expected to grow up so much quicker these days, I dont think that is a good thing 🙁 x #FabFridayPost
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