what if I loose my spark again?

There are days like today where I feel like I can barely face what’s outside my bedroom door, let alone make it down the stairs, or out of the house. Compared to 6 months ago however, I only feel this way now and then compared to most days, I am grateful for that!

It is days like today that remind me of how I felt mid last year, and in the pit of my stomach, make me fear, what if I loose my spark again? This year I decided to live by the word “Learning”. On a day like today where the sun is shining shouldn’t I feel like I want to embrace the day with joy and enthusiasm? The fact that I don’t can leave me feeling ungrateful and lead to me being way to hard on myself. So I need to look at what I am learning. That is what I promised myself this year, to look at what the good days and the bad days teach me.

This world teaches us so much, not all of which we wish to accept. It is easy to just pretend we are ok and ignore the lessons when they are not ones we wish to learn, but I know very well that the more I ignore my pain, or the nagging inner thoughts, the more they come back to bite at a very inconvenient time!

I don’t want to have days like today, but the truth is if I stop long enough to listen to my body and still my mind, I can learn why days like this happen and I can understand what I can do to cope with them when they do. I know lately I have not been looking after myself. I have not taken the time to do the things that inspire me creatively, or schedule in the long overdue haircut I need, I haven’t taken a walk in the bushland, and probably most importantly I haven’t been getting enough sleep. In the past month I only attended one of my art classes which is one of my biggest stress relievers and I haven’t worked on my fictional writing either. I can not say I have been overly busy, I have simply just lacked self care.

So why write this? I write this in the hope that if you can relate, then I hope that this week you will schedule in some self care. We have to listen to our bodies and too often we just don’t! Ask yourself today “What is my body telling me? What is my body screaming out to me? What is stopping me from hearing it? And What can I do differently so I don’t feel this way?” Let’s keep learning.

You matter!

I matter!

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Thanks for reflecting with me today, love Mac xx