At a recent school birthday party as the mums sat around sipping coffee the topic soon turned to when we as mums should have “the talk”. Now we were at a party celebrating a boy who was turning 6, so I think we are safe there for a while, but most of us have older children and these are the ones we are concerned about!
I am pretty open when it comes to my body, I don’t cover up, they see me in the shower (actually they seem to like having lengthy conversations with me with whilst I’m in the shower, hey I’m a mum there is no such thing as privacy!) When it comes to that time of the month I don’t exactly hide my products away in the cupboard. So my girls now that mum has a period every month and I am always positive about it. I try to explain it as simply as possible. I tell them that I make a little egg every month and if I choose not to have baby then the egg has to come out. I tell them it is not like I am actually bleeding, and that it doesn’t hurt. (Well I don’t want to freak them out). I haven’t mentioned mood swings, or why I want to cry for no reason at least one day a month.
I thought I had many years before I had to talk to them about all these womanly issues, (or should I say privileges?) When Aspen was 8 I was with my sister at a book store, I was flipping through the girly stuff books and was literally knocked down with shock when I saw that girls get their periods as young as 8! (Occasionally younger, what?) 8? Really? But Aspen was 8 and she was still so tiny, still my baby girl, surely she couldn’t mature that quickly. I didn’t want my baby having to deal with such grown up bodily functions when she had barely entered primary school.
Had I already missed the boat, should I have already explained all this information to her. OK I decided I had to be a “responsible” parent and buy this book. I needed to prepare my 8 year old for changes that could occur in her body at any time! I brought the most basic book I could find, I wasn’t even going to think about explaining sex yet. No that could wait until she’s at least 25 right? When I got home I explained to her that I had bought a special book that her and I could read together (at that time April was only 5, so I explained that she wasn’t to try and teach April anything). She was so excited as it became our special time.
Luckily 3 years on she is still a little girl as far as her body is concerned, and now it is April who is 8 and I now have to make special time for her! When Adam needs ‘the talk’ can I make daddy do it?
In a year and a half Aspen will be heading into high school and I am sure I am going to get loads more questions. I have tried to always be relaxed and as honest as possible when she talks to me, I want her to know she can come to me about anything. I am lucky so far she is not embarrassed to ask me anything and everything, I am not naive I know she will become embarrassed at some point to speak to me, but I am hoping that is a long way off yet!!!!!
Have you had a talk with your child yet? My advice, talk to your kids before they find out from any one else.
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
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23 comments
We had “the talk” with our daughter this year around the time she turned seven but it came naturally from questions she had and so we visited the local library and got some books and explained things in a simple way. My daughter was fascinated! I guess it’s different for all kids but the one thing i feel is the same is that we dont want our little girls to grow up too soon!
Angela from http://www.daysinbed.com
It’s good to read your experience and advice! My little girl is only turning 4 this year so I’m ok for a while but I too wouldn’t have thought about it at 8! Definitely better they hear it from us and who knows what age the ‘other’ talk will happen! I wish kids could be kids for longer! Glad to be back on your linky this week #mummyandus
So glad you linked up. Yes if only we could freeze time and they could stay little and innocent longer
My son would not be palmed off by the age related answers so he found out very young about sex but then almost forgot. At nine he knows all of it and we don’t have a ‘talk’ but rather I make sure issues of growing up and body changes and relationships too come up from time to time. I am reminded though that I had a book when I was young that helped a lot. It was a resource I could go to alone without asking my parents all the time. This is a very important post. It is a topic that it would do us all good to chat about more. Thanks. Kirsten
It is an important topic and the more we are comfortable with it, the more our kids will be
We were only having this discussion last night as we had just come back from a 10 year olds birthday party where some of the girls were starting to look like little women. 8 does surprise me for the “chat” but as you said quite rightly, better they hear from you than anyone else. And by being so open as you have been during their upbringing you take away any embarrassment. Your Hubby definitely needs to speak to Adam, not as in a man to man thing, but more just so you get a break – and you can check he listened! 🙂 #mummyandus
I know what you mean these girls of ten are still so young yet their bodies are changing. It all happens too soon.
Oh wow, I had no idea girls could get their period from 8!! Yikes! My oldest is 8 & we haven’t had any talk yet. I don’t know what age they should be but you have me thinking about it now! Thanks so much for hosting #mummyandus x
Sorry I sacred you, I know exactly what you mean. I think 8 isn’t the common age, but it happens to some girls.
You’re definitely handling it really well! My mum was the same with me and I knew periods were normal and I even knew what to do when I got mine 🙂 #mummyandus
Thanks xo
I have been talking with my boys about ‘mummy nappies’, ‘seed & eggs’ and ‘special cuddles’ for mummies & daddies since they were young. This has led to a natural progression to a more factual discussion of sex & intimacy. They are now 12 & 15 & are fascinated with the whole puberty thing, they appear to be happy to raise potentially awkward issues around the dinner table & we always try to give them quality, non-judgemental answers (with a dose of humour where ever possible!). The more relaxed & open you can be the more they will reciprocate; model your behaviour to reflect the calm matter of fact attitude you hope they will have in the future!
I love when mums of boys are so open about what us women go through. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job x
This is a great post Mac and I hope I am just like you as a Mum. My Mum told me about periods when I was 8 as she read something too. I didn’t end up getting it until I was 15 but I was glad I was told, even thomyugh I was a bit scared. I asked my Dad more sex questions surprisingly! Good on you and I’m sure your girls and boy are happy, secure little ones xxx Thanks for hosting #mummyandus
Wow I have never thought about it. My kids are so little that it doesn’t even cross my mind yet. I guess I should look into getting a book for my oldest daughter because she is almost 8. It really happens that early?!? Ugh not okay! #MummyandUs
Kristen
Gosh, I’m not ready for this yet, but then my eldest is only 6! Sex education starts in year 5, when they are ten, so I think the conversation will come about naturally then. I think I’d rather keep our discussions quite casual. Sitting down for a big talk might be quite intimidating for all concerned xx #Mummy&Us
It’s a tricky one. My children are 9, 7, 2 and 11 months. The 2 big kids have asked where babies come from and for now they know that an egg from a mummy and a seed from a daddy get put together and that grows into a baby. They know where the babies came out of and were disgusted. As for how the egg and seed got together, well for now they think it was pushed through my belly button – their explanation! #TwinklyTuesday
When we tried to have the talk with the Tubblet we were informed they’d done it at school and it was disgusting so we weren’t talking about it again. (We had a look at the school’s material and it was good. We’ve said that she can ask us questions as and when).
Gosh, such a minefield. Oliver is only two so the talk is well away yet. It sounds to me you have done the right thing. No one close to me explained periods etc, and I remember being terrified when it started.
Becky x
Thank you for hosting #mummy&us
Ooh, our time to “talk” is a long way off yet, and I’ve got two boys so will probably leave it to Daddy. It helps that he’s a science teacher in a secondary school too. Though I think I’d quite like to be involved so that they both know in the future that they’re able to talk openly to me about anything and ask questions without feeling embarrassed (yeah right!).
I had only learnt about periods in school and so when I got mine, I literally had no idea what to do – I didn’t even know how to use a tampon. My mum had never had the talk and everything puberty wise she used to laugh and try and make fun out of it, which in turn made me the most body conscious person ever!
I think it’s great that you’re setting the time aside for all your children! #twinklytuesday
I think I may leave that talk to my boy!!! He can tell our sons everything they need to know!!! I think if I had a daughter, I’d definitely want to be the one to impart my knowledge but I genuinely wouldn’t know where to start with boy things!!! LOL!!! *shudders* Hahaha!!! 😉 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday — hope to see you again next week! x
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
This is a great post. A great reminder that this is coming up on the radar soon. I have a feeling that my girls will be late bloomers like their momma, but I don’t want them learning from anyone else! I try to be honest and open about most things (even if I simplify to make them age-appropriate) so I hope that this is just another conversation of millions we have through our lifetimes. Thanks so much for sharing with #heymomma! 🙂
Think its really important to be open with your kids so great advice here few years off for me but I’m sure it will come about soon enough! Thanks for sharing on #kidscorner x
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