Christmas time is fast approaching, and things are a little different for us this year. My eldest is 12 and it was time to have ‘the chat’ about Santa a little while ago. I knew that she knew deep down that Santa wasn’t real, but she is quite young at heart and wasn’t wanting the dream to end. I figured I had two choices, I could go on pretending that I didn’t know that she knew, or I could just sit down and discuss it with her.
It didn’t go so well, she was not impressed with me! Aspen is very young at heart, she doesn’t want to grow up. In many ways this is a blessing, she is not talking about boys non stop like a lot of her friends, or wanting to wear make up (though I let her wear a little for her grade 6 graduation party). She is not even really into fashion, and she is more than happy to hang out with her younger siblings. But in other ways it is tough that she doesn’t want to grow up. It makes her less accepting of body changes that whether she likes it or not are going to happen.
It took her a couple of days to really come around to the positives of knowing that mummy and daddy buy the gifts, which basically is that she can go shopping and have more of a say in what she would like. We were out and about the other day and picked up a few gifts for her siblings, she was super excited that it was ‘our secret’!
I think in the end it worked out for the best that we were able to have an open chat about it, and also discuss more about all the good things that growing up brings. Growing up is a complicated and confusing time, feeling torn between being a little child, and yet somehow being expected to act more grown up and let go of childhood fantasies before you may feel ready to.
Remembering the days where all she wanted was to be a mermaid.
Wanting to be like Ariel from the Little Mermaid was the whole reason she grew her hair long.
Here is a pic go her hair for her Graduation.
Lately with her Spinal issues and all the pain she is in, I started to doubt myself again, right now with all she is going through should I have let her have that childhood magic for longer?
I think all we can do as parents is keep the communication lines open and remember that they need our support, and our patience. Do you have any tips to share about raising a tween? When did your children find out Santa is not real?
Thanks for joining me, love Mac xx
I recently posted about how to teach our children about Equality.
You may also enjoy my post on helping manage pain through positivity.
When the Storm Comes, a post about when life events seem to all pile on top of each other.
Take a look at our Video of Aspen and her little sister April answering the 16 Random Question Tag
Hang on a minute! I NEED HELP!
15 comments
It’s really interesting to read the story of someone with a much older child than mine, and how you deal with that (sometimes) difficult transition from being a little child to a teenager. It is great that you are so honest and open with your daughter. Her hair looks beautiful in that picture. #familyfun
oh thank you, yes I know it really is tricky dealing with the questions, concerns and changes, but when we come from a place of love it usually works out OK. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting xx
Mine are 12, 10 & 9 and are all firm believers… in everything! Santa, the elf on the shelf, the tooth fairy…. I am trying to embrace it as I know we have got to be in our final years but I am ready for them to be done with most of it. When they’d ask us for a new Lego set or toy and yet feel free to ask Santa for a new 4 wheeler… Yeah, it’s time. However, I can not bring myself to talk to any of them about it since I have seen no signs that they don’t truly believe. If asked I would absolutely tell the them truth and in the meantime it’s still our little secret.
All I can say is don’t beat yourself up over it. #familyfun
He doesn’t exist? What? Really? For Fifty years I’ve believed and you’ve shattered my illusion. 😂
That’s great that she got into the “other” side of Christmas and the buying of bits for people. Embracing the giving nature of Christmas. Just because she knows the truth doesn’t mean it won’t be magical for her!! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun
What a great job you did Mac getting her there and she is still enjoying it all! That alone is brilliant. I am so sorry for her pain. That is so awful to watch. I do hope her recovery eases quickly. I think my big is getting a bit suspicious about father Christmas. I am trying to keep it alive, and I’m the jewish momma! Too funny! Hugs to all! <3
I’ve only ever thought about how hard it is for me to accept they’re getting older and that one day all these magical things from Santa to the tooth fairy suddenly disappear and we’re left with an unmagical reality. I’d never thought that it may be hard for them to accept these changes too. I assumed it would just be a natural transition but my heart goes to you and your daughter. Growing up is such a confusing time for them and us. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong here Mac, the fact that you’re worrying shows you’re a brilliant mum. Take comfort in her happiness when she chose her siblings presents. Getting her involved in Christmas now, the behind the scenes part, will probably make her so happy and still excited during the build up xxx
Her hair is gorgeous! Bless it certainly is a blessing that she doesn’t want to grow up and loves the company of her siblings. I must confess I was in such a hurry to grow up I think I did so too quickly. I’d love for my two to remain young at heart although I do think there comes a time when you sadly have to break the santa bubble :(. Thanks for sharing at #familyfun
Ermm…. we have never really had the chat, he still comes to the 21 year old and 13 year old. I sort of hinted to the eldest when she was about 10 but she still admonishes me for even suggesting such a thing ha! x
I think it’s quite sweet that she isn’t in a hurry to grow up. Before you know it she’ll be moving out and you’ll hold on to these days! x
We have a next door neighbor much like this and I love her heart for it.
Aspen is such a lovely name.
#fabfriday
Not yet! My children are 10, 8 and 5. I’m certain that my eldest may have an idea or even been told by friends but at home she still very much believes and I don’t want to ruin the magic just yet. I’m not looking forward to the day when she turns round and tells me. Sarah #FabFridayPost
My 10 year old was brought over to the dark side 2 years ago because she kept pushing and asking awkward questions in front of her younger siblings. Though she was a bit disappointed when I broke and told her the truth, I’ve made it a really important job for her to keep it magical for her bro and sis. She is so creative with a great imagination and can think of things on the spot, better that I can! All good in the end! #FabFridayPost
Awww… Aspen is so beautiful being a mermaid. I know my time will come soon too. I read somewhere that they themselves can become Santa too and buy one gift for strangers or friends in his neighbourhood, but no one must know that the gift except them and his family. They has now become their family tradition. I think I will do that when my kiddos get a little older too. It sounds like fun. Wishing Aspen and you and your family have a wonderful birthday! Xx
Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost
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